


The Orc and The Hobbit; The Unlikeliest of Couples

by heavymetalqueen26



Series: Baggins AU's [9]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Cats, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, And More Fluff, Angst, Bilbo and Dori own a tea shop, Consensual, Everybody from the hobbit and Lord of the Rings shows up, Feral Behavior, Fluff, Kid Fic, M/M, Mpreg, One Word Prompts, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-12
Updated: 2013-09-14
Packaged: 2017-12-14 18:48:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 27,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/840178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heavymetalqueen26/pseuds/heavymetalqueen26
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Long Prompt Series.<br/>Short stories about Alternate Universes about Bilbo and Azog. Some are of them being a couple and some of them being friends, but always full of Fluff. Maybe a bit of angst, maybe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 001. Abandon

**Author's Note:**

> A shit ton of incomplete AUs just sprouted for this pairing, going to have a fun time figuring them out~ (sarcasm)  
> Inspired by Soul Bound  
> Also I needed more fluff for this pairing and I may or maynot have ruined someone... My bad! This is for you!  
> AU: Modern Day; Bilbo and Azog are owners of two compaies trying to have a relationship through life's many stuggles.

Azog knew what it was like for people to just leave you and not care. He had had it happen to him his whole life; his parents, his gang, a few people he dated in the past. He had scraped at the bottom for so long, only living with just Weiβ.

He had lived alone with the expectation that people would always abandon him in the end, which was probably what lead him to stalk around the small hobbit he was in love with for a long time. He was waiting, waiting for the fluttering and stomach turning feeling to go away with time, but it just got worse. He began to notice little things about Bilbo, like the way how the hobbit's nose would scrunch up in the morning at any given interval, or the way how the hobbit would pull his bag closer when the tube became too crowded.

So when he grew sick of his own pathetic behavior and asked the man out, six time in one day, so that he could actually have a civil conversation with the hobbit was painful. It was painful letting someone in, knowing that they could just abandon him like all the others. The pain intensified for the first year of them dating, many surprised by how long they had lasted, mostly Bilbo's ex.

It changed in a flash he didn't realize what had been discussed til he had drank enough coffee that morning. He had made the mistake of talking about their past relationships, he was pleased when Bilbo didn't pull away at some of his more “adventurous” escapades. He had released a breath that he didn't realize that he had been holding.

Orcs had slowly gained the rights of other sentient beings, but many stilled held onto the past. Keeping their views that orcs were mindless killing machines and forced them into slums and poverty. He had been one of the few to make it out because he had saved up enough money from drug dealing to buy a company he had his eye on for a long time.

He had also told Bilbo of his gang leader past when the hobbit had looked at his scars in wonder. He told Bilbo about how he lost his arm to his own gang that was trying to overthrow him, he had talked about what his tattoos meant in orc society. He had told Bilbo so much and the hobbit gave so little in return that it hurt, it hurt to expose himself and only be met with a wall or more armor. Having Bilbo talk about past relationships had changed everything though.

Azog waited for his hobbit to speak, he waited a long time for anything, he could wait a few more minutes.

“I guess they mostly broke up with me, even my more... previous ex had broke up with me during a great transition in my life?” Bilbo bit his lip as he balanced a too large coffee mug of tea, while he sat on one of Azog's way too high stoles. “Um, my first girlfriend broke up with me when my parents died and... then explained to me in painstaking detail that it was all my fault.”

 

“My first boyfriend had tried to take control of my life, but after I refused to give in he... slept with my best-friend at the time, purposely waiting til I would walk in on them. I had moved out of my dorm room as soon as possible.”

Azog gripped his mug so tight it shattered, “Names.”

Bilbo looked up at him with wide eyes, “What?”

“I want their names,” Azog snarled as he stomped around his own kitchen in loose fitting pants til he found his miniature vacuum. It was quiet and didn't upset Weiβ, and he couldn't use a traditional broom with one hand.

He wanted to roar in rage at the two, treating Bilbo like that. He bared his teeth as he slammed the cupboard shut after retrieving a new mug.

“No, you can't kill them,” Bilbo huffed and rolled his eyes, he was already used to Azog's protective moods.

“Maim for life?”

“No,” Bilbo wriggled around the stool in discomfort. He licked his lips before he was prompted to go on by Azog's attention, “My ex, he left me when Dori and I thought we were going to go under. He left me saying that he couldn't see himself being with me, a failure.”

Azog's eyes glazed over, he very much wished that he had never brought up the conversation. He was going to rip the dwarf's tongue out and feed it to the dragon down stairs. The putrid fuck had the balls to try and claim to love Bilbo after that, he wasn't going to let the shit anywhere near Bilbo for the rest of his life.

Bilbo watched him as his hobbit squirmed, he understood now why Bilbo didn't open up to him. Bilbo was just as afraid of being abandoned as he was. Slamming down his coffee mug, he walked across his kitchen to where the island was, his strides long and fast. He pulled Bilbo to his chest with his good arm, it was too early in the morning for him to put on his prosthetic.

He felt his hobbit shake in his arm, he only tightened his grip as he buried his nose into the soft curls. He breathed in the calming scent that was Bilbo, his heart rate slowly going down from his anger. He spoke after a few minutes, his voice gravely and thick with emotions, “I will never, ever, abandon you, ever.”

Weiβ confirmed his statement when she rested her great head on his hobbit's lap. Giving a whining sound to force Bilbo to pet her, Azog chuckled as he watched his warg beg for his hobbit's attention. He laughed at Bilbo's face when Weiβ licked all over the hobbit's face, it was one of his favorite faces too. The way how Bilbo scrunched up his nose was just the most perfect thing ever, he hummed when Bilbo tried to hide into his bare chest.

He made a mental note to wriggle the names out of Bilbo latter, he had some limbs to rip off.


	2. 002. Secret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ghost AU! Because there aren't many of these!  
> AU: Ghost; Bilbo has always been able to see ghost, he just didn't think he would be stuck with one called Azog, who becomes his ghost protector of a best-friend and has little regard for rules.

Bilbo Baggins had a very big secret. To him it was huge, to his friends and Gandalf, not so much. He could see ghosts, but that wasn't his secret, seeing ghosts was a very common ability. No, his secret was that he was in a relationship of some kind with a ghost, he wasn't sure if they were friends or if the ghost wanted to rip out his heart half the time.

He was friends with a powerful orc ghost from some time before the dark ages. Azog was strong, so strong that he could mess around with physical beings and objects. It was very uncommon for a ghost to be able to touch anything but other ghosts. The orc had been trapped in a house by an enchantment created by Gandalf, but Bilbo had disturbed the enchantment on a dare to prove that he wasn't a prissy boy. Worst mistake of his life, screw you Thorin.

Bilbo ducked his head when he felt Azog at his back, the ghost had a very powerful presence, the ghost's power radiating off in waves. He really liked Azog, the orc was nice to him most of the time, well after trying to kill him for two weeks strait before Gandalf intervened. The ghost was very protective over him, so much so that it was problematic.

He wished really wished that Azog had gone to do what ever ghost did and not fallowed him to school. Thanks to his friend the orc's presence attracted the attention of some very large bullies, that forced him up against the lockers right now. He silently cursed as the three trolls sneering down at him.

“Tom,” One said to the other, “I always wonder how he does it, you know that whole thing where we can feel e'm”

“We could find out,” The shortest one sneered showing its nasty teeth.

Bilbo cringed back, the trolls wouldn't have seen or noticed him if Azog hadn't had came with him to school today. He felt Azog give a powerful rumble, the orc was snapping his teeth in a threatening manor. The trolls stepped back fast, their eyes widened up like dear that caught sight of a wolf.

“W-what was that?” the shortest one asked, he started to back up hiding behind the bigger two.

“I don't know, but listen here you little fer-” the larger troll cut off screaming and pulled back the hand he was previously pointing with. He held his bleeding hand to his chest, he had three deep claw marks running down his arm.

The three pulled back fast, as did the crowd that had formed only a few minutes ago. Bilbo could feel Azog give a twisted grin, without thought he raced past the crowd to the bathroom. Huffing he looked up to see the orc pass through the wall in his full armor without a care. He gave Azog a very particular look, the teen hobbit tried to still his frantic heart with a hand on his chest.

Waiting to make sure that there wasn't anyone to listen in, he began to hiss at the orc, “What were you thinking? You could have been discovered, Gandalf was very specific when he told you about the rules his superior had made for us. Do you want to be thrown into the desolation?”

Azog just snorted and crossed his arms, he didn't take the threats seriously as Bilbo did. He didn't feel threatened by an old man who couldn't even show up in person to set down ground rules for someone of his importance. “Desolation, oh, so scary.”

“Don't roll your eyes! This serious Azog, you know your soul will be ripped apart if they toss you into desolation.”

Azog stalked forward and picked up Bilbo by the scruff, he slowly snarled out his thoughts. “I. Don't. Care. Their rules don't mean warg shit to me, I do what I please, I'm Azog the Defiler. I will fallow you to school if I want to, I will kill anyone I please.”

Bilbo just sagged into the ghost's hold, he knew that Azog wouldn't hurt him. At lest he hoped. Patting the ghost shoulder he waited for Azog to calm down from the fit, the ghost had grown incredibly protective after he had spoken about the trolls. The ghost had snarled and demanded to have their heads, he had luckily talked to orc down a few weeks ago, but seeing the trolls in person had re-awoken Azog's anger.

Yes, most people had really trivial secrets, like who they had a crush on, he had a raving murdering protective ghost. Thorin and Gandalf could just not talk to him for the next few weeks, or months, he wasn't that picky about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I have an addiction. FYI, if you have anything that you want me to specifically write for what ever prompt just ask. You can either ask me via tumblr heavymetalqueen26.tumblr.com or just ask me here.  
> Thank you for your time!


	3. 003. Light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost hate RPGs right now, ugh, how do I even explain how much you mess with my life! This one was inspired by PRGs and Little Witch Academy (Please go watch the animation its super cute and done by a talented group of people!)  
> AU: Knight School; As one of the most prestigious schools for young knights, mages, rogues, monster-slayers, and berserkers; Bilbo and Azog were expecting a very different curriculum.

Azog snorted as he felt more than heard the tiny footsteps following him. He was the top Berserker at the school, he could take on over 100 enemies by himself. He did not need a partner, no matter what the school said. He most definitely didn't need a novice mage hobbit that couldn't even fight a pixy. But here he was, partnered with a hobbit that was barely able to fight, fan-fucking-tastic.

Professor Gray had paired them up together, the wizard was an old family friend of the hobbit's and showed extreme favoritism towards the hobbit. This was proven when the wizard threatened to pair him with on of the trolls if anything happened to the hobbit. So now he was stuck babysitting a hobbit or risk failing the whole class because of a waste of space troll.

Growling Azog picked up his pace as he stomped through the underground dungeon. It was what people typically thought of when they thought dungeon, dark, slimy, wet, and full of creatures who wanted to eat the flesh off your bones. It was his kind of place, Azog grinned as he took sight of a shadow. He had a particular set of scores to beat, manly a few elves and a fake knight dwarf.

He gave a dark chuckle as he caught up with the owner of the shadow, a chimera. He could tell by its twisted goat horns, crocodile head, wolf's front paws and torso, and a tiger's hind paws and tail. He thundered after the beast, chimeras were worth a lot of points and mostly stayed in small packs. If one was lucky enough to find one than that was 500 points, now times that by at least five and he had this dungeon run in the bag and would keep his title, Azog the dungeon Defiler who never loses.

He pulled out his mace, perfect for handling large numbers or thick boned targets. He charged at the chimera, barely noting the hobbit trailing behind him, the caught the creature in a twist of the dungeon. The chimera didn't have the agility to dodge his attack and to make the hairpin turn at the same time, his mace smashed right through its head.

He only paused to bring back proof of his kill, pulling back his mace and replacing it with his blade he went to work on cutting out some bones, he didn't need a lot just enough for the experts to test and add up his points. Purposelessly ignoring the hobbit, who was busy gagging at the mixture of shattered bone, brain matter, blood, and tissue of where the head once was, he stood up and sheathed his blade. Not waiting for the hobbit to move he simply began to walk down the corridor, it was a small chimera so there had to be more of them, probably parents.

Picking off parents was his favorite, they were predictable; protect the pups. It made trying to break through a monster's or enemy’s defenses so much easier. He could take down the parents with minimal effort and collect his kill, points, and money. Another thing he liked about the dungeon runs was that it was a way to make money at the school, the more points you got the more money you got. It was set up this way to help prepare the students, he just liked it because he needed stuff for his warg.

He wasn't disappointed when he got to the end of the corridor, six chimeras. Six chimeras, 3000 points, today was his lucky day. The chimeras took note of him from their small meal on the rooms molding floor, a fallen Cerberus. Also a high point kill worth 2000, if they took down the Cerberus than they weren't some basic level pack.

His face twisted in a grin, perfect, he had been bored for some time now. Changing where he put his weight on his feet, he waited for one the chimeras to charge him. He didn't have to wait long, one of the largest roared and charged at him in a suicidal way. Grinning he moved his weight to the side and swung as hard as he could at the sternum of the creature. The victorious crack that sounded out had been worth the slight pain splintering down his arm.

The chimera fell on its back with a pained cry, the other five chimeras jumped to their comrades defense. He had little time to react when one jumped over his swing, the other two were not so lucky, as he smashed through their jaws with his strength. Turning to face the one that dodged him missed the other two that had stalked to his sides, he knew that there was little that he could do with a weapon of his size and power.

Maces couldn't be swung fast, they had to be swung at the right speed and timed correctly or else you would miss your target constantly. Waiting for the right moment, knowing the chimera would dodge, he caught the creature's front paw with his clawed hand. The sensitive wolf flesh was shredded under the strong steel. The creature let out a growling howl as it fell to the floor and landed in the pile of the fallen' blood.

He moved his mace over his head to make the final kill for the beast when one's jaws locked around his leg when his mace was preoccupied. He gave out a roaring cry as his flesh was ripped at the calf, sending him to his knees. The next chimera battered him across the room with one powerful swipe, he lost his mace in the sliding and rolling around his own blood. He barely had time to touch a hand to his bleeding shoulder and chest when the chimera began to stalk forward. Only to be stopped by a swipe to its snout. 

He watched in shock as the small hobbit stood between him and the two imposing chimeras, its legs shaking and it was muttering under its breath as it swung its little sword in a non-threatening way. He tried to get to his feet to pull back the foolish hobbit when the hobbit stopped its muttering for a few seconds, he didn't know if the hobbit was talking to him or the chimera when it gave a small shout.

“Stay back, I mean it!” Its voice shaky but authoritative. If he wasn't bleeding on the ground with a wounded leg Azog would have given a snort or laughter.

He was cut off his grim merriment when the floor around the hobbit began to glow, runes circling and the circle showing a summoning spell had been cast. A very powerful one.

His theory was proven correct when he saw it, the red-gold snout of a dragon began to push through the floor and space. Its head followed next, the chamber shrinking with every part of the dragon reviled, the creature curled around him and the hobbit in a protective way before its roar shook the whole dungeon with its rage.

The chimeras were caught between fighting the large drake or running away, the dragon made the decision for them. Within a few seconds dragon's fire enveloped the bodies, leaving nothing but ash its wake as it burned the creatures, alive or dead. The smell of burning flesh fresh in the rank air when the dragon moved its head to nuzzle at where it kept the hobbit, tucked safely the crook of its wing.

The hobbit gave a laugh when the drake flicked out a forked tongue, “Yes, Smaug, I'm just fine. There's no need to worry, you took care of it.”

The dragon answered back with growls and whistles.

“Yes, thank you very much, I do believe you did earn a large portion of my winnings and a new book.” The dragon answered back with a victorious cry.

The dragon vanished in a flash of light, illuminating the hobbit from his position on the floor. With the flash still flaring in his eyes, making him partially blind he could see the hobbit just fine. The hobbit was haloed in light, framing the little things features like the Valkyrie of war. It stole his breath away.

“Uh, My names Bilbo Baggins,” Bilbo spoke softly, nervousness radiating off the little thing in waves, “It's a pleasure to meet you, Azog.”

“Light.”

“Excuse me?”

“I can't see,” Azog growled as he tried to think of a way for them to get back to the gate and collect their winnings, all while trying to ignore how suddenly bright and distracting Bilbo seemed to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything hurts and fight scenes are a bitch (whine, bitch, moan, whine).  
> Love you all and thank you for reading!


	4. 004. Allow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holly balls, this wasn't supposed to happen! UGH, now I have to change my whole plan for the New Guinea!Dwarrows. Oh well...
> 
> AU: Tribal; Bilbo is a financial adviser for Mr. Gandalf Gray, who tricks him into coming along on an expedition to a deserted island for its small rainforest, only the island isn't deserted like they thought. Bilbo wants to go, but Azog the tribes leader isn't too keen on the idea.

“Gandalf,” Bilbo hissed at his old time friend, who was currently trying to get a pike out of his face. He gave the older man a very serious glare, he had been tricked into this, tricked! He was just a financial adviser, he wasn't actually supposed to come along on the expeditions. Apparently Gandalf got tired of him refusing because the older male claimed to have overcharged for “something” and he had to fly down to the dock to fix it, only to be trapped on the boat to a uninhabited island. Luckily Gandalf had remembered to pack for him, the eccentric, scientific billionaire had a hard time remembering what the older male invented to make such a large amount of money, he was pretty sure it was fireworks.

The island in question was supposed to be a deserted island with only small game and predators, but its plants had an abnormal levels of protein and starch. Gandalf's goal was to test the soil, air, water, nitrogen levels, etc. to figure out what made these plants so effective, and then figure out a way to incorporate it into modern farming. Only problem was that the island wasn't deserted.

No, Bilbo swallowed, the island was anything but. The island was home to one small tribe, their leader a giant albino man at eight feet tall and missing an arm. The tribe wasn't too different from their leader, all tall snarly, full of muscle, and had sharp serrated teeth. The only difference between the tribe and its leader was that the tribe wasn't as pale as their leader, they came in many different skin tones, but none in a marble skin tone. Also said tribe had Gandalf, him, and the small crew hostage and at the threat of cannibalism.

When they first saw them it had been a tribal member that had seen them wading off the beach, Gandalf had a few theories; one, the tribe traveled island to island for food and resources; two, the tribe had eaten the other tribe; three, the tribe would split when it grew too large and the two now separate tribes would then fight and kill each other for resources. Bilbo really hoped that they were the first theory, because he would prefer not to be eaten right now.

“Gandalf,” Bilbo turned from the albino trying to stare him down, he was by no means tall, barely 5'2'', but this giant was just too much for anyone. He hissed again at the older male, “what do I do?”

He had never been good in social situations, he preferred books and a good cup of tea to people. And that was when he knew the social rules, how was he supposed to not get them all killed with a tribe of people who's rules he didn't know. He bit his lip and thought about the wild animal documentaries he watched, one rule seemed to apply to all land animals. Don't make eye contact.

Glancing up at the imposing male, he accidentally did, fantastic! He couldn't do this, Bombur had more nerves than he did, the ships cook was a good man with a wife and kids, he really didn't know how he could have made it any worse when the giant began to growl a harsh tongue at him. He flinched back quickly, only to run into Bofur, his good friend and the ships best mate. Bifur tried to pull the two back behind him, the mute ship captain was trying not to make a gargled noise of anger. Ori, Gandalf's assistant wasn't doing much better, the young man was hyperventilating. 

Bofur grabbed hold of him and nearly succeeded in pulling him out of the way of harm from the albino giant, when he was brutally pulled back by his upper arm. Giving a startled cry, he had to stand on his tip-toes to stay upright. The albino had started growling and muttering in the strange tongue, sending chills of fear up his spine when a pale nose bumped his temple. He gave a shuttered gasp when the hand on his arm tightened and he felt the drag of teeth along his skin.

Squeezing his eyes tight he tried not to tremble when he felt the albino start to scent him. He gave a relieved gasp when his arm was released and the tribe started to leave when the albino let out a harsh bark. The albino pressed a nose to his curls one last time before giving their small crew a look over and nodded at them with a twisted grin, showing sharp teeth. With that the tribe was gone and they stood in the blistering sand with heavy breathing.

Gandalf broke the silence with a small chuckle, “Good job, Bilbo, he will allow us to stay.”

Both him and Bofur gave the older man a disgruntled look spoke in a harsh tone, while Bifur was letting out controlled hisses in the tribes direction, “That's what just happened?”

Ori gave a small nod, backing up his superior, “That nod with his body language is often used in primates a sign of acceptance.”

“Alright, don't expect me to do it again because I have no idea what I even did,” Bilbo huffed leaning heavily on Bofur, allow his buttocks. He wasn't in the mood to be eaten, period.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know right now truth be told, this one just kinda birthed itself... Azog, “I don't know what they are, but... I like that one.”  
> Thanks for taking a moment out of your day!


	5. 005. Cookies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was way more fluffier than I intended and also more twisted, and I'm alright with that.
> 
> AU: Modern Day; Bilbo and Azog are owners of two compaies trying to have a relationship through life's many stuggles.

The smell was orgasmic, the only way to describe Bilbo's cooking was haven. Azog had never had a sweet tooth, not even when he lived in the slums as an orphan, but there was something about anything that Bilbo made that drove him wild. He would catch the scent as he was leaving, coming home, or just lunging around one of their apartments. It drove him mad, he had canceled a days worth of meetings for just a small taste of anything Bilbo made him.

 

The only thing that bothered him was that when his partner, boyfriend was such a juvenile term, was stress the hobbit baked up a storm. And right now he was staring down six dozen cookies, chocolate chip, sugar, peanut butter, snicker-doodle, raisin, and white chocolate. He looked at the home made cookies with a mix between awe and rage, only Bilbo could make something he usually didn't care for and make it irresistible. Only his Bilbo.

 

Deciding that he should change before he decided to interrogate his beloved he left to go find the half of the dresser full of his clothes. If he was to solve the problem then he would have to get out of his business clothes and into something more comfortable. When he returned in a baggy hoodie and some jeans he wasn't that surprised to see Bilbo laying out some dough to be added into the now cool sheet.

 

Waiting til Bilbo had safely set the sheet back into the oven at the required temperature for Reese's cookies, he scooped up his squealing partner and sat down on the green loveseat. He let Bilbo get comfortable in his lap before he pressed a chaste kiss to soft lips.

 

Pulling back, he resisted the urge to rest his forehead on Bilbo's shoulder, he asked in a serious voice, “What's wrong?”

 

He had learned to keep the growl out of his voice, most of the time, when it came to asking about the people who hurt his hobbit in the present. Humming when Bilbo pressed a soft kiss to his nose, he let his shoulders relax, he wouldn't leave right now to take care of the problem. His hands moved to Bilbo's sides, enjoying the plumpness as he massaged away any knots he could find.

 

“Its nothing, just a larger business keeps trying to buy me and Dori out,” Bilbo sighed into soothing touch of his partner. He had grown used to how Azog would be cold in anger one moment, and warm and affection the next. It wasn't any surprise when Azog began to press sweet kisses to his neck, he giggled and pushed his partner back playfully before kissing Azog's stump. “You should have some cookies.”

 

“Alright,” Azog grunted as he was thoroughly distracted by the pleasant sensation of the ghost of Bilbo's lips on his deformity. No one, absolutely no one had ever shown love towards his stump til Bilbo came into his life, and he would protect that jealously. With that thought he began to prepare his smaller lover for the rest of their night with a wicked grin as Bilbo let out a whine about the cookies burning.

 

* * *

 

He gave a small laugh as the business man screamed before him. This scum had been bothering his partner for the past few months, stomping on the man's already broken arm he let the man scream again before grabbing the filth by its short hair. Slowly he began to pull the man's spine back into an arch, the bones and joints already popping and groaning in resistance.

 

Bringing his mouth next to the mans ear he let out a harsh whisper, “I won't tolerate you bothering him. In fact, no one in your company will ever bother him again, not after I burn it to the ground and your family with it.”

 

He ended his whisper with the snapping of the man's spine, and by the sound of it he broke it in three different places. Letting the man crumple to the floor he moved around the family office, scourging his pockets for the cookies he brought. Stuffing one in his mouth he let out a sigh of delight, only his Bilbo could get him to eat anything sweet and enjoy it.

 

Quickly ripping out the power socket with an automatic screwdriver, just for him because handling a screwdriver with one arm was a bitch. Shoving the next piece of twisted deformed metal that belonged to the lamp that he had brained and broke the man's arm with, he grinned when the sparks started setting the carpet aflame.

 

Turning back to the man that laid crumpled on the ground paralyzed from the neck down he made eye contact with the creature, “You really should have been smarter about it, but I guess its a lesson you can take with you to the afterlife. Another one is that there are no finer cookies than the ones my Bilbo makes and that your family will be burned before they suffocate.”

 

Leaving the man as the creature began to scream with fear in its eyes, he made sure to lock all the doors before he left, barricading the family in. Humming he walked past the houses slowly snacking on the cookies he brought when his cellphone range out.

 

He picked up immediately, it was Bilbo's ring tone. He called softly into the receiver, “Hello?”

 

“Where are you?” He could hear Bilbo's frown on the other end, and could picture his hobbit with bed head and a cute little pout laying in their recently used bed.

 

“I'm out picking up something from Wally-World, I need some paper for my printer tomorrow for a presentation for someone who is interested in being a business partner.” He half-lied smoothly, he really did need some special paper, as a fire truck whizzed by him sirens blaring.

 

“Was that a fire truck?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“You be careful...” Bilbo trailed off on the other end.

 

“I will, I'm in the parking lot, I'll be back soon,” He grinned as he walked through a Walgreen's doors. He made the trip many a times, his secretary was practically useless, but no body else would stay for the job. “Don't do anything too **strenuous** while I'm gone.”

 

“Azog.” Bilbo warned, he could picture his little prude hobbit's face inflamed by his husky whisper.

 

Biting into a chocolate chip cookie he gave a small laugh, “I'm eating your cookies, they're almost as delicious as you.”

 

“Azog!” He could hear Bilbo trying to hide his face behind the comforter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Azog, Azog no, respect Bilbo's phone boundaries. This was supposed to be all Fluffy and not psychotic...  
> Love you all, going to try and actually finish the next chapter for Cheaper by Dozen or More, Azog stop detracting me!


	6. 006 Galaxy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So now I'm the Queen of a ship and a drug dealer, cool...  
> This is for Miss Rose who I have sold drugs to, may this satisfy your addiction, temporarily. MWAHAHAHAHAHA, sorry.
> 
> AU: Asylum; Bilbo is a psychologist who is forced to work with a special case of Azog, a mass murder who sometimes eats his victims.

Azog, 36 year old male, eight feet tall, and is a confirmed felon with sociopath tendencies and schizophrenia. An albino man who has murdered over one hundred people in the past five years, has disabled one psychologist, mauled the face off another, and broke the arms and legs of two others. He also cut of his own arm and sharpened his teeth with a file, oh yes and the little fact he also ate some of his victims.

Bilbo groaned, he could not do this. He could not sit in a room for three hours with this man, he didn't have enough insurance for that. He had no choice of course, the only other psychologist who had the experience to handle a case like Azog was Thorin, who's grandfather was murdered by Azog. Which left him, he had no choice but to try to help this man.

Tapping his feet on the bar of the stool he waited and winced at every tick the clock made. It was mandatory for someone like Azog to remain in a straitjacket, except for when talking to their psychologist. Which meant that if Azog tried to hurt him; a soft, 5'2” Englishman; than he would be defenseless. 

Bilbo let out a startled gasp when the door was ripped open by the security team, one sweating profusely and the others shoving Azog through the door as the man growled and struggled. The team gave him a small look of pity before they unstrapped Azog from the jacket, they gave Bilbo a quick nod before locking the door behind them, encase Azog tried to run.

Nodding at the team as they left, Bilbo returned his attention to the giant hovering by the door. Swallowing he waited for Azog to notice him, he had seen the tapes of the attacks on the other psychologists, he learned from their mistake. He breathed out labored breaths as his hands shook around his tea cup, oh he was going to need more soon. And maybe a hospital bed too.

He gave a small eep when Azog rounded on him, the man's face contorted in rage and sharp teeth bared. Giving a small nod at the man, he felt his mind slightly shut down in fear, only realizing what he was doing til after he spoke. 

“Tea?” He asked softly, like he would a guest.

The albino froze, his eyes wondering over the psychologist in suspicion. Slowly the man lumbered forward, his eyes taking in everything and muscles tense ready to strike at any threat. Until he stopped before the small table in the room; with a little tea pot, a few cups and a tiny little man. He looked down into the mans eyes and spoke voice harsh and cruel. “Tell me doctor, is this some sort of trick to get me to take my meds or is this poisoned?”

“No! That would be against your consent, Azog,” Bilbo sighed keeping eye contact with the bigger man. He pointedly drank some of the tea before him and watched as Azog waited for him to kill over from poison. “Please have a seat.”

Azog kicked out a chair and slumped down, it was boring being by himself most of the time. He only saw others at meal time and while he had maimed the other psychologists. This one didn't seem so bad to him, too small for him to take seriously. With that thought in mind he leaned forward and kept eye contact with the tiny man.

“Galaxies.”

“Pardon me?” Bilbo squeaked as Azog leaned over the table, invading his personal space. He resisted the urge to shrink back, but he knew that he needed to be like the tigers that Azog intimidated. The tattoos that ran across the mans body had been matched with the royal tiger's and the albino had the same mannerisms.

“Your eyes, they're like tiny little galaxies with a black hole in the middle of each.” Azog hummed as the little man sat still under his scrutiny. Slowly he began to grin, “I like them.”

Bilbo just sat still and swallowed, “Thank you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hardest prompts so far, by the way, have no fear I accidentally went prompt hunting and ended up with 610 prompts... May not write them all or in order, but I will continue on til they're done!  
> Also Psychologist is a doctor with a degree in psychology, Psychiatrist is a doctor with a degree in medicine.


	7. 007 Second Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I lied this one was harder.
> 
> AU: Tribal; Bilbo is a financial adviser for Mr. Gandalf Gray, who tricks him into coming along on an expedition to a deserted island for its small rainforest, only the island isn't deserted like they thought. Bilbo wants to go, but Azog the tribe's leader isn't took keen on the idea.

Bilbo had temporarily kicked himself off the ship, he was sick of Gandalf. The older man kept trying to make him go and talk with the tribe's leader for a whole week now. He, logically, refused. He was in no mood to be eaten by a giant. Not at all. So he hiked to the small cove, where he could still see the ship if he needed to, but was still hidden.

Big. Mistake.

He had brought his laptop in hopes of getting some work done, but now he was being cornered against the high cliff by a salt water crocodile. That shouldn't even be in this sea, might he add. It was a large albino crocodile that had caught sight of him and right now was just snapping its jaw and scenting him. He gave a whimper when it gave a hiss when he tried to move to the adjacent side of the wall.

The crocodile and him looked over when heavy foot steps sounded through the beach, feet shifting through the sand with a slow pace. He swallowed and prayed that it was Bifur or Bofur, the two had brought guns, that may not have been strong enough to break through the crocodile's thick hide, but would have been enough for him to run away. His prayers were not answered. 

The tribal leader slowly strolled around the bend of the small cove, his sawed teeth bared in a victorious grin. Bilbo gave a startled call between a whine and a groan when the albino bent down to pet the saltwater crocodile. He stalked over to the small man, who was gripping a computer bag for dear life.

Bilbo screwed his eyes shut when the albino caged him in and rested the stump on the rock wall. Biting his lip he let the larger man maneuver his head slightly back, he did so with a small protest and trying to push the larger man back, it didn't work. His reward was a sharp reminder of the teeth wondering over his throat, he gave a small yelp when he was bitten only enough to leave small pointed bruises. After that he decided it was better to just let the large man do whatever, he just really, really didn't want to be eaten.

He fisted the sash of fur that was slung across the man's torso as he felt a large puff of air on his vulnerable throat. Resisting the urge to smack the larger man when the albino gave a chuckle at his distress, really now, that was just rude. As was dragging an unwilling smaller man into the albino's lap.

Catching sight of the crocodile, as it laid down on the beach acting as a barrier, when he was dragged into the larger man's lap, he wasn't happy about his escape root being cut off. He was also unhappy about all the shirts that Gandalf packed him were polos and showed off his neck because the albino was running a clawed thumb along the side of his neck. Trying to ignore the sickening feeling of realizing just how large the man's hands were, he gave an experimental push away, only to be met with a loud growl.

Capturing Bilbo's wrist with a large hand the albino gave a harsh snarl, “Azog.”

“E-Excuse me?” Bilbo whimpered back as he tried to pull back his hand. The albino only tightened the grip before snarling again.

“A-Z-O-G.”

“Bilbo.”

“Bilbo,” Azog hummed his name with a contemplated look before running releasing his hand and running a thumb over his cheek, “Bilbo.”

“Yes that's me... Azog.” Bilbo shakily responded.

The albino bent his body in half before pressing a soft kiss to Bilbo's forehead. He just smiled at the squeak that the little thing gave out. He breathed into the slightly pointed ear, “Bilbo, lat urdanog gith, lat zo. Zo Bilbo.”

Giving a small nod, he just thought that maybe the second time was the charm, “Alright, Azog, alright.”

Azog gave a small smile before pressing another kiss to his forehead, yes the second time was the charm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Orc/black speech, fucking impossible to find. Sorry you guys have to put up with my shitty translating. “Bilbo, lat urdanog gith, lat zo. Zo Bilbo.” means “Bilbo, you command all, you mine. Mine Bilbo.” It should be way better but there are no words for “are”, “belong”, or “my”. Darn it Tolkein why didn't you have a giant book of orc language, humm?  
> Thank you all for reading!


	8. 114. Voice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heard the song Don't Hate Me by Epic High, the fandom fox is strong with this one. Please go listen to it its really good and goes well with this chapter.
> 
> AU: Modern Day; Bilbo and Azog are owners of two companies trying to have a relationship through life's everyday struggles.

Azog gritted his teeth as everyone in the small shop stared at him. He growled and remembered why he was here, for Bilbo. He was here to pick up Bilbo's ramen noodles that was actually ramen, and not that cheap shit from the convenience store. It was a dry-freezed packet that had pre-made ramen that just had to be heated up in water. Bilbo loved the things, he was doing this for Bilbo, for his Bilbo.

Stalking over to the freezer section, he purposely ignored the suspicious looks from the other shoppers and store owner. He was an orc shopping in a small shop, he couldn't go anywhere without being scrutinized and searched. He one time had the cops called because he walked into his own apartment. That neighbor mysteriously died, what a shame.

Browsing over the selection he tried to tune out the awful rap music that came from the speakers above him. He couldn't find the brand that Bilbo usually used, looking over again he tried moving over a small section, when the song changed.

Everybody hates me, but I love you and you love me (oh-oh-oh)

His hands froze on the door handle, the lyrics in English washing over him in the chorus. His mind went to his Bilbo, everyone seemed to hate him, but Bilbo. Swallowing he made a quick second decision, Bilbo was still working and he was only on lunch. Pulling out his phone he scrolled through the options til he got to his voice mail. He quickly went through the options and chose to send a voice mail to Bilbo.

Swallowing he put the receiver up to his mouth and began to sing a few lines, “Everybody hates me, but I love you and you love me. Oh-oh-oh. I'm fine as long as you're by my side. Everyone only dislikes me. Everyone only hates me. I'd go crazy without you. Oh-oh-oh. Everybody hates me, but I love you and you love me. Oh-oh-oh.”

Ignoring the fact how everyone in the store just saw him sing, he fished out a few packets and stormed over to the counter. Giving the owner a sneer, he slammed down the cash and left with the shitty plastic bag, his ears black with embarrassment.

He had never liked his voice, to harsh and thick. His singing sound more like a growl of rage than a serenade. He could only hope that Bilbo liked it, he would never sing again if Bilbo wanted him to.

The hug and kiss he got when he arrived at his apartment for dinner had been worth every second of doubt. He vowed to only sing for Bilbo in that moment as his hobbit's lips melded with his, only Bilbo would hear his voice in such a way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Needed to write this now, sorry it was so short. I didn't really “grow” bigger than the original idea...  
> I appreciate your time, thanks for reading!


	9. 008 Anticipation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Friendship time, because I have been writing a whole bunch of romance for these two lately.
> 
> AU: Cops and Reporters; Azog wasn't a good cop, but Bilbo was a good reporter who bought him free food in exchange for information on the latest juicy bits of the city's underbelly, he could change a little for that.

Bilbo Baggins, senior reporter for the only news paper in the city still running squirmed in his seat. Everyone a the paper was trying their hardest to keep the papers selling, one way to do that was to upgrade to digital, something that their competitors did too late. Another was to have the most reliable information and the latest information. And in the city they lived in it was important.

It was one of the shadiest cities in all of the world, the one with the most murders, gangs, and robberies. No news station could cover it all accurately, and when said news stations got it wrong they lost followers, Bilbo was pretty proud to say that his stories were some of the most read articles.

That was all thanks to one of the most vicious looking cops in the whole city, no one ever had the gulls to interview the imposing man. Except for Bilbo. He did it almost every week, the large man had frightened him at first, but slowly the two became friends, kind of. Azog, the rumored to be corrupted cop, only came if Bilbo was in danger or if a free meal was involved. And he had gained a reputation by being too knowledgeable, thus Azog had to rescue him a few times from some of the more disturbing gangs. 

Right now Azog was twenty minutes late, the man was never late. Biting his lip, he looked around another time to see if he had missed the large pale man. Scanning over the small diner only finding elderly couples and a few groups of teens, he decided Azog probably wasn't going to show up. Sighing, he left the booth with enough cash on the table for a tip and to pay for his drink. It wouldn't be the first time Azog didn't show up, he would probably get a call from the man tomorrow with an explanation of work or something came up.

Stuffing his hands in his pockets, he turned to make his way to the subway so that he could head home, only to stop dead in his tracks at the sound of a gun ringing through the night. The sound of the bullet leaving the barrel forced him and a few other people to stop and look around. He swiveled his head to the dark alley to the side of the diner. Swallowing, he made a very dumb decision.

With silent footsteps he made his way into the dark, passing around trash cans and decay. He saw the light from above a back door, and three men. Peeking around the corner another time, he saw the two standing over the now dead body, on closer inspection he realized it was a woman.

He gave a gasp at the blood, running from the sickening hole in the back of her throat. The two men looked up in his direction, for a split second he felt his heart stop before he took off running back down the alley way. He only turned his head for a split second to see if the two were following him when he ran into the bulk of another man. Giving a startled yelp he fell back with his arms flailing, landing on his hands and butt.

The two men' footsteps slammed through the silence as he looked up at the burly man before him, he recognized the tattoo on the man's neck. A gang that was at the head of human trafficking, swallowing he opened his mouth trying to think of something to say. Only to snap it shut when he felt a gun pressed to the top of his head and saw one being shoved in his face.

“You think he can suck cock?” One of the ones behind him asked with a sneer.

“He's a reported, of course he can.” The other answered with a short laugh and shoved the gun harder against his head.

The one in front of him gave an unamused snort, “Shut the fuck up, we don't have time for him to suck you off Greeg. Someone would have reported a gunshot by now because you dumb shits didn't use the silencer.”

The two behind him gave a mumbled apology before he heard the clicking of a gun being cocked. His eyes widened as he watched the man before him pull back the pin of the small handgunn, taking off the safety. He watched in slow motion as the gun was raised to shot him strait between the eyes. His breath coming out in waves and sweat was running down his brow.

Just as the man before him began to squeeze the trigger, a white hand came from behind the bulky man and snapped the man's gun up to hit the one behind him. Just as the gang member's gun went off a louder one rang out, a small hole ripped through the man's chest. 

As the man fell to the ground, Azog appeared gun drawn and twisted grin in place. Firing off another shot he took care of the third gang member with ease. Shoving his gun back into its holster he gave the shorter man a slightly, only by a little, kinder smile. “Can't fucking sit still for two minutes can you?”

It took Bilbo a moment to respond, his mind and body shell shocked, “Yo- you were late!”

“You could have an actual phone like most people so I can call and tell you.” Azog retorted pulling the smaller man up by the collar. “Just five more fucking minutes, were that antsy to see me?”

“Oh, I'm sorry that I anticipated you to be on time, such is polite!”

“Fuck, when have I ever been polite?”

“Your mother is turning in her grave right now.” Azog just laughed and pulled the reporter out of the alley while calling about an assault.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Azog as a cop, who needs to sleep tonight? May your nightmares be full of Azog hunting you down in a uniform.  
> Good night and thanks for reading!


	10. 009. Clouds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU: Wild Man; Bilbo is a writer who escaped to the wilderness so that he could write in peace, only he didn't realize that he bought a cabin in the middle of a wolf sanctuary. Azog, a man raised by wolves, meets a peculiar little omega with curly hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is for Beargirl1393 who asked for a Tarzan AU. Go read some of their stuff, they're an expert in not-so-popular pairings, such as Dwagins(Dwalin/Bilbo) or Bifblo(Bifur/Bilbo) and even Snape/Harry, if you are into that, I'm not but I read them and they're pretty fantastic. I'm also envious of their spelling and grammar.

Bilbo loved looking at the sky, he used to dream about adventures in far off places when he was younger. He still does, but now he writes them for the world to read. Which was why he was in the middle of nowhere.

Smiling he watched the clouds float across the sky, all white and cottony. He had finished packing this morning, he was sitting on the porch enjoying seeing his empty car. It was a small car, but had four wheel and he didn't need to go anywhere during winter because he had scheduled for his groceries to come to him. It was perfect, away from the distracting noise and rudeness from the city. Just what he needed for his social anxiety.

His land lord was a nice old man, Mr. Gray, who owned the land and had kindly sold him the cabin on such short notice. When he told people where he was moving many of them whispered about wolves and the white shadow. He just laughed, he knew wolves didn't like people and mostly attacked when threatened, most wolves ran away at the slightest hint of a human. And the white shadow must be some urban legend, like Sasquatch. 

Right now though, he was just enjoying the pleasant breeze that wafted through the forest, bringing a piney sent into his nose, and watched the clouds pass by over head. Today was the prefect start of his new life, and he could wait a few hours to start writing the next book in his series. His editor could wait just a little longer, his deadline wasn't for another four months. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He smelled it, something was in their territory. Azog stalked through the thick forest with his sister, the two prowling silently. It didn't smell like the beta that normally wondered through their territory, but something else. Snarling he made his way around to where the beta usually came.

It was nighttime so they would have to be on alert for any of the cats that hunted at night, sniffing he fallowed where the strange scent came from. Slowly he and Weiβ made their way to the beta's temporary dwelling, it was a fortress made of trees and was very warm in the winter. It also didn't smell anything like the beta, it smelled like a human. Azog snarled in the fortress's direction, humans were bad, their mother had told them that. With that the two alphas left, turning back to the woods from which they came.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bilbo had been very thankful that the cabin had electricity, there was no way that he would be able to finish, let alone start, his next book without his computer. He squinted as another cloud passed over head, he was getting tired of changing the brightness of his computer every time the lighting changed. Sighing he set his computer down on the swing, it was time for a tea break anyways.

Walking through the screen door he supposed he could always write inside, but it was a waste on such a nice day. Sighing he filled the kettle with water and put it on the burner waiting for it to whistle it was done. Leaning up against his small wooden table he thought about how his week had been so far, he had found wolf prints with some other man's prints as well just out side of his cabin. He had talked to it with Mr. Gray, who had told him that he lived on a wolf sanctuary. He guessed that made sense, someone would have to check on the wolves every once in a while and probably scare off any poachers.

Hearing the kettle start to whistle he moved from his perch to retrieve a mug. Only to drop it when a pained scream broke the silence. The whole forest stilled except for the flocks of birds flying away to safety.

He turned in the cry's direction, it was a man, he could tell by how deep the yell was. Who was probably injured in the wild. Swallowing Bilbo scampered to get his hiking boots and his hunting knife, that Bofur gave him as a joke present, he didn't know what was out there but someone needed help.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Azog roared to the sky when he felt something brake the bones in his hind legs. He crumpled to the ground with a pained grunt, barley noticing the metal jaws that surrounded his leg as he tried to crawl away. Humans, always humans caused the most trouble. He could smell one coming fast on the wind, it smelled panicked. 

He gave a deep growl at the human when it busted through the brush, its curly hair disheveled and its hide full of twigs and leafs. He watched as it took sight of him and started to make those strange sounds that humans did, he snapped his teeth and rumbled at it. Watching with satisfaction when the human backed away and shrunk in on itself, he waited for it to either try to kill him or leave.

Slowly the human began to move forward, no weapon in hand and making a whining sound. He took in its posture, submissive and weak. As it moved closer he realized just how tiny the creature was, an omega. He growled at it again and watched as the omega scampered back again. It gave a small huff before moving forward again.

He let it come into his personal space, the omega was so very small, he could wrap his remaining front paw around its head with ease. Hopefully he wouldn't have to gnaw off another one of his limbs. He waited as the omega studied his leg and the metal jaw. It gave an huff and a grunt, its scent changing into anger at the sight.

Slowly it looked to him and moved its arm forward slightly, towards the metal jaw. With a grunt the omega began to touch around the jaw without fear, and in a few moments he was free. With a sigh he rolled over onto his back, watching as the white moved across the blue above him.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bilbo gave a sigh of relief when he pulled back his uneaten hands back to his body. He looked over the fallen man, if he could call the pale creature that. The man was large, extremely so, and covered in wild animal fur and blood, also smelled like the man had never taken a bath.

“Alright, now lets get you to my home where we can call for help.” He spoke softly moving over to where the man laid. Shifting the man's remaining arm over his shoulders he gave a grunt and tried to pull the man up, the large pale man was just laying there giving him an odd look. “Come on, I can’t do this by myself.”

Tugging again, he gave a sigh of relief when the man took the hint and put weight on the good leg. Slowly they wobbled back to his cabin, every step harder than the last. He nearly collapsed with joy when he caught sight of his porch. Realizing that it would be impossible to get the larger man up the stairs he maneuvered the skittish man to sit on the steps.

“I'll be right back,” He spoke calmly before running to get his satellite phone, some food, and the first aid kit. He made a small mental note to go shopping soon or else he wouldn't have any food, as he pulled out some beef jerky. He returned to find the man right where he had left him, the pale man's shoulders ridged and was making growling sounds.

Setting the open bag of jerky before the man and stepping away to call Mr. Gray, he knew that emergency care wouldn't be able to make it up the mountain roads. The phone took a few seconds to find a signal, “Hello? Mr. Gray?”

“My dear Bilbo, I told you to call me Gandalf,” The older man spoke.

“That's not important right now, I have a large man with a broken leg that was caught in a bear trap.”

“Oh, is he around 8 feet tall, really pale, and missing an arm?”

“Yes... How did you know that?”

“Oh, that would be Azog, he'll be fine,” Gandalf said, pausing only to ask, “Are you hurt?”

“I'm completely fine, HE is not, he has a broken leg!”

“He hasn't attacked you?”

“No, he just snapped at me, now come over here and help me!”

“I'm afraid he doesn't like me or any person for that matter, you're going to have to put a splint on it your self.”

“How,” He gave a pitiful cry.

Azog, the pale man, looked up from his meal and pulled Bilbo closer. Letting out a growl every time the smaller man tried to move away. After eating his fill he offered what was left to Bilbo.

“No, thank you...”

“What is he doing?”

“Offering me food...”

“Oh, he must like you, congratulations.”

“Just shut up and help me!” The older male just laughed and walked him through splinting the giant's broken leg.

Sighing he sat side by side with the pale man and looked to the sky for help, he really wished he could just live on a cloud. He wished for that even more when the large man started to sniff his hair.

“Please stop that!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longer than intended, and still didn't happen how I wanted it too. *Gargling noises* Sick today so updates will probably be really slow or non-existent, but I will try! My internet is also failing me, AGAIN!  
> Thank you for reading and please be patient for today’s updates.


	11. 010. Armor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU: Soul Bound; Azog is the bound to Bilbo by his soul as a side effect to save the hobbit's life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ginger is sent from the havens. Sorry this one is a bit short.

Azog had always thought armor was for the weak, he had only used as a way to distinguish his position in the pack. He had taken the lives of so many who had claimed to be great warriors, but were foolish weaklings hiding behind thick armor. He knew every weakness in the armor, he knew where to drive his blade or where was the weakest.

He never thought that he would actually wish for something to wear armor, but he did, he would beg on his knees for it. He wished that Bilbo would wear armor, he would sacrifice his other arm for it. He wished that the hobbit would wear armor when leaving for Bree, when leaving the house. He prayed for it.

Bilbo didn't wear armor, the hobbit was too small. His hobbit would buckle under the weight and it would break him to see it damage his hobbit.

“You have that face on,” Bilbo teased with a raised eyebrow.

Azog grunted in return, he didn't have “faces” as Bilbo liked to call them, “You went to Bree today.”

“Yes, I had to pick up some oil for the door, its been driving me mad.” Bilbo shrugged while reading an elven novel. 

“Who did it,” He growled back, his claws digging into the wood of his carving knife.

“Did what?” The hobbit squirmed a little under his scrutiny.

“You know what.” He roared as the air shriveled up in fear of him. He would rip out the throat of the fool who hurt his hobbit. “I can smell it, I can smell your blood and I felt the sting!”

“It was an accident!”

“Was it?” He snarled back, leaning into Bilbo's space as the hobbit gave him an angry scowl.

“Yes, I was pushed over by a young lad who was chasing his friends.” Bilbo rested a small hand on the orc's forearm. “I'm alright it was just a scratch, nothing to be afraid of.”

“Azog didn't answerer back til Bilbo climbed into his lap, he hugged the smaller being to his chest. Breathing out a shaky breath, he buried his nose into Bilbo's curls. When had he become so corrupted by a hobbit that he wished to act as armor.

Pressing a light kiss to Bilbo's temple he whispered into the pointed ear, “I wish that I could go everywhere with you, I wish that I could act as your armor.”

Bilbo cradled his head between two small hands and showered his face with sweet kisses. “I know.”

He breathed in the scent of him and Bilbo, his shoulders relaxing. He couldn't act as Bilbo's armor, but he would be his hobbit's protector. “You're not leaving our home without me for the next year.”

“Yes dear,” The hobbit cheekily laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluff because of reasons. Ginger and mint are fantastic for stomachaches, along with chicken noddle soup and crackers!  
> Thank you all for putting up with my shit!


	12. 011. Black and White

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU: Cat sanctuary; Mr. Gray runs and owns a wild cat sanctuary, his favorite is Bilbo, a Rusty-spotted Cat, the tiniest wild cat in the world, that he is very reasonably protective over. An old friend has asked him to look after a large albino Jungle Cat named Azog because of the large cat's aggressive behavior.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No idea what I'm even doing! Hahah, what?

Bilbo tilted his head, Gandy was very upset, over what he didn't know. He softly padded down the walkway that had been made for him, Gandy thought he was too small to jump onto anything in the old man's office. Mewling softly he rubbed up against the Gandalf's hand, his large eyes staring down the old man.

“I can't believe he talked me into this,” Gandalf grumbled as he patted the small Rusty-spotted cat. He had been forced to take in an aggressive cat by his superior. He was unfortunately running his own little branch of the Wildcat sanctuary, which meant he had no choice but to obey his superior's demands or lose funding.

Sitting in the other room of his office was an albino Jungle cat. Said cat was extremely aggressive and had lost its arm to a hunter. He was expected to let it into his sanctuary, only problem was that he didn't have an empty habitat to put the violent cat in. Which meant that the violent animal was running around his area that he had made for him and Bilbo to just relax in. He was not going to let Bilbo anywhere near the monster of a cat.

Bilbo swatted at his friend's hand playfully, Gandalf gave a small laugh. Bilbo had become protective over him, the little cat was loyal to a fault and had taken on a large Golden cat one time in his defense. It wasn't uncommon behavior in cats, but most didn't become close enough to their cats for the loyalty to form. Bilbo and him had lived in the sanctuary for the past six years. He hadn't formed an attachment to the other inhabitants of his sanctuary like he did Bilbo.

Moving the little cat to his chair Gandalf moved to the door separating him from the menace on the other side. Opening the door a crack to peek inside he barely caught sight of the aggressive cat before he felt a stinging pain in his legs. Letting out a howl of pain he stumbled back as the albino Jungle cat pressed on forward with a hiss.

He puffed up in anger, how dare this mean cat attack Gandy, Bilbo hissed. Jumping down from the chair he ran to stand between the cat and his friend. He wasn't very impressive, Thorin the Golden cat had told him time and time again, but he wasn't going to let anything happen to his friend and one who gave him food.

Azog paused in his assault and stared down the tiny mass of fur. Rearing back to sit on his haunches he tilted his head at the tiny ball of fur and meowed, “What are you doing?”

“Protecting my feeder!” Bilbo hissed back jumping forward “menacingly”.

The larger cat swatted at the Rusty-spotted cat playfully, watching as the little cat teetered over only to be swept up by the old man. Snorting out a laugh the cat gave a call, “You can't even stay standing little bird.”

“I am not a bird, you brute!”

Azog laughed and pressed after the little thing as the human tried to keep the small cat out of his sight. Laying down with a grin, his tail sweeping back and forth playfully, “Is that the best insult you have little mouse breed?”

The battle cry the smaller cat made had him rolling on his back in laughter.

****___****

Bilbo huffed as he passed the Fishing cat's habitat. He was allowed to wander around the sanctuary as he pleased, guest found him cute and inviting. Thus getting their home more money, or so Gandy told him. Only problem was that the Golden cats were hissing up a storm, or so the Pallas's cats told him.

When he arrived at the habitat there wasn't much going on, Thorin, Dis, and her two kittens were staying on one end of the habitat while Azog was off somewhere on the other. He strolled up to Dis, the female mewing at him in greeting. Thorin, hissed in his direction, as was the norm. Most cats thought he was a kitten, and he sometimes was mothered by some strange group of cats, Dwalin, the large Pampas cat had been one case.

Dis didn't see Bilbo as a threat, the small cat had proven to be resourceful in looking after her kittens. As the two little blond and black balls of fluff were common little mischief makers. Bilbo always brought them back when they wandered into other habitats. 

“Hello,” Bilbo sat down before the three ignoring Thorin's hissing.

“Bibo!” The two little kittens bounced over swatting at the small cat, they were a little bigger than Bilbo was, something Fili and Kili liked to remind the full grown male. They found how Bilbo couldn't stay still the funniest thing ever.

Jumping away from the two playfully, crouching down he pounced on Kili before padding away from Fili's swipes. The two howling with laughter chasing after the smaller cat. Thorin watched the three with disdain, while Dis was happy to finally be able to take a nap. Everything stopped when Azog padded out from the far side of the habitat.

Fili and Kili scampered over to their mother, as Dis puffed up in rage and began to hiss, Thorin joined her. Bilbo puffed up but stayed where he was as the large cat showed his teeth to the Golden cats. Thorin took this a front to his family and territory, charged Azog to swipe at the larger cat.

Azog rounded up oh his hunches and pounced at Thorin from above, before rolling over onto his back with his jaws locked around Thorin's throat. The Golden cat gave a viscous hiss as Azog began to use his back claws to rip at Thorin's sides.

Bilbo pounced on the surprised Jungle cat, Azog jumped into the air and twisted before knocking Bilbo over with a playful swipe. 

“Come one little bird, show me the food.” Azog chided as he picked Bilbo up by the scruff and carried the little cat out of the habitat, leaving a fuming Thorin behind. Ignoring the Rusty-spotted cat's hissing and whining, he gave a small purr when he found his way back to the office.

Gandalf returned to find the two curled up taking a nap, Azog's coat standing out starkly against Bilbo's bronze and black coat. Almost like yin and yang, he mused as he sat down. The sound attracting Azog's attention, the Jungle cat staring him down before licking Bilbo's head. He gave a small laugh at the wild cat's blatant warning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had to cut this one off before it became its own story, darn you prompts!  
> Also cats do demonstrate protective behavior, mine is an example. He's a fat half wild cat that will stand between me and guest in my house if they get too close to me he gets defensive, but he hasn't attacked anyone yet. He's really a big baby, who is afraid of chipmunks, but brings me rabbits...  
> Thank you all for reading!


	13. 012. Ash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU: Wild Man; Bilbo is a writer who escaped to the wilderness so that he could write in peace, only he didn't realize that he bought a cabin in the middle of a wolf sanctuary. Azog, a man raised by wolves, meets a peculiar curly haired little omega.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, the worst part about having a stomachache is being hungry but knowing you can't keep it down, screw my family and their pasta, I hope you choke. >:x

Azog had lived in the omega's den for a few hunting nights, the little thing would flutter around and would bring him food, like an alpha. He was confused, the little thing would talk on this yellow brick and didn't go hunting. And there was also the fact how the creature had tamed the Destroyer.

The omega would handle the Destroyer without fear, it was shocking how the Destroyer listened to the omega. Staying in its little pit; eating the wood it was given and doing strange things to the food the omega gave him. The Destroyer would disappear and leave nothing but this gray powdery dirt, the omega would sweep it up with agitation.

Today he stopped the omega from sweeping it up, the omega looked at him with narrowed eyes.

“Stop that, I can't sweep it up if you don't move.” The omega would bark random sounds at him.

Snorting he pushed the powder around in wonder with his front paw. He snorted when he accidentally got it in his nose after throwing it around. He really hated the smell of it, it also didn't taste good either. The omega watched him with its head cocked to the side. 

Slowly it kneeled down and pinched some of the powder between its paws. It softly barked at him, “Ash.”

“A- as.”

“No, ash,” the omega began to pile some up into a little hill, “A-S-H.”

“Ash.”

The omega began to nod and bark happily, “Yes, ash, very good!”

He gave Ash a feral grin, he had the Destroyer's young. With that thought he began to roll around in Ash as much as he could with his hurt hind leg. He was rewarded with a shrill howl from the omega.

Stopping on his back he looked up at the little thing trying to push him off the offspring with a frown. He rolled over as the omega demanded and watched as the omega swept up Ash to be sent back to the Destroyer. He huffed as he watched it be sent out of the den, he was going to get Ash soon. Slowly the omega padded back to him with a scruff in hand, it was wet.

Snarling he pulled back from the omega, the omega answered back with a whine, “Please hold still you're getting ash everywhere.”

He stood his ground as the omega approached, he gave out a warning growl when the scruff came close to him. The omega huffed out and pressed the scruff on its own limbs before moving back towards him again, it didn't look harmful.

He gave a jolt at first when the scruff was pressed against his hackles, but relaxed into the soothing warmth and grooming. He let the omega groom him with little complaints, removing Ash from him completely, but it was nice. He gave a growl when the omega pulled away, pulling the omega into his lap he gave a commanding snap at its nose. The omega pulled back in fear, its eyes wide and scent causing him to grumble with anger. 

Pressing his nose to the omega's ear he gave a small whine, he just wanted to be groomed again. He let out a few barks and growls, “I won't harm you little omega.”

Slowly the omega pushed the scruff back on him, he grumbled with pleasure as his front was groomed. The omega seemed to be pleased that there was no more Ash on him, so it pulled the scruff back again, this time without any snapping. Showing his thanks for the grooming he gave the omega a few licks, only to be pushed away playfully.

Leaning in again he was rewarded with a whine, “Azog, no please don't!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhg, they won't choke and my cat keeps trying to lay on me, excuse my bitchiness, I get crabby when I'm sick.  
> Thank you all for your time!


	14. 018. Smudge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU: Tribal; Bilbo is a financial adviser for Mr. Gandalf Gray, who tricks him into coming along on an expedition to a deserted island for its small rainforest, only the island isn't deserted like they thought, Bilbo wants to go, but Azog the tribe's leader isn't too keen on the idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Request from the lovely Rose, greatest idea I never had.

Bilbo grumbled as he was shoved out of the hut, he had been forced into some clothes that were basically a loincloth and a shawl. He really should have known better than to start talking to Azog. The loincloth was a normal dull brown, but the shawl was a black, red, and white woven cloth with a fur trim. It was nice, but he really wished he could have his shirt back from the cackling woman before him. Huffing when he was pushed out of the hut to the crowd of the tribe, all seated around a fire with Azog standing by two large overstuffed pillows.

He was less afraid of the giant of a man, but seeing Azog standing with a hat made of skulls and bones was a harsh reminder of whom he had been trying to teach English. He and Azog had been conversing, slowly learning the other's language. So when Azog had spoken in a harsh tone, obviously nervous and tense, and asked him to come with him to the tribe's temporary village, he logically ran in the other direction until Azog playfully tackled him to the ground and forced him to consent. The tribe leader had pulled away with a howl of joyful laughter and kissed his forehead, a very strange habit.

Swallowing he made his way over, the woman muttering and leading him around the fire to stand before Azog. Making eye contact before deciding that his fingers playing with the shawl was much more interesting. He tried not to blush as the whole tribe was focused on him and Azog, the woman pulled out a skull of her own, a human skull, and danced around the two. He could feel Azog's eyes on him the whole time, glancing up he was surprised to see the giant smiling, and not the smug grin that the tribe leader usually had. It was a pleasant change, he offered Azog a small smile of his own as the woman threw a handful of dust over the two.

Coughing, as he made the mistake of inhaling at the same time, he let Azog lead him to sitting on the plush pillow. Giving a small jolt when he felt the crocodile that Azog loved curl around the two of them, he experimentally rested a hand on the thick tail as it circled his cushion. He gave a sigh of relief when his hand wasn't bitten off, following the tapping sound he watched as Azog petted the thick skinned beast with no fear. Azog had tried to explain to him that the giant albino saltwater crocodile was nothing to fear, going as far as to shove a hand in the creature's mouth. He still wasn't convinced. 

He decided to ignore the tribe leader and the giant crocodile, he watched as food was brought out. Giving a hum he realized that it must have been some sort of celebration, he should have invited everyone. What the tribe was celebrating wasn't known to him, but he just decided to assume that it was to welcome him into the tribe.

Smiling when some food was set before him he gave a pleased cry when the meat was cooked. He had been afraid that the tribe would feed him raw meat after he saw Azog capture and eat a bird whole. He didn't pay attention when Azog began to eat and feed small bits to the crocodile, even if the tribe leader did steal a few pieces of food from his plate, he just enjoyed the meal. It was a nice change, the sound of the tribe enjoying themselves, the group smiling and laughing, it was good.

Gradually everything began to come down from all the excitement, the tribe looked back to him and Azog with anticipation. The woman from before stood, calling out sentences in their tongue slowly as she walked forward, her face stony and her tone hard. It sent a small shiver up his spine when she placed a bowl of sludge in front of him and Azog. He watched with morbid fascination as she ran a finger around the rim before adding some red powder, turning the concoction blood red.

With a small twirl she turned away and walked around the fire back to the hut that he was forced into. Swallowing, again, he turned to Azog for instructions on what to do when something cold and wet smeared over his cheek. Giving a small yelp he pulled back and hovered a hand over his cheek, the tribe went silent with fear. Realizing that it was Azog who had pressed the wet sludge on his face, who was looking ready to murder everything in sight, he gave the leader a small apology before leaning his head closer to the large man's hand.

There was a rumble of approval through the whole group, he only slightly cringed at the smudges of God-only-knows on his face. Suddenly Azog gave a growl of anger, he was able to look at what the problem was before his mind caught up, the man's stump. He gave a breathy sigh when Azog bared sharp teeth in rage, he realized that the man could only do one side of his face with each arm. Pursing his lips he made a split second decision, he really had no intentions of being eaten, and lifted the bowl up so that Azog could splash the stump into the sludge.

Azog's face twisted in surprise before the smile returned. He released a breath he didn't know he was holding when the tribe's leader continued with the smudges on his face. These were larger and were much less neat than the ones on the other side, but he made it through without too much squirming. 

He pulled back again when Azog leaned into his space, the man's face twisted with a grin. He followed the man's eyes as they looked to the bowl and back at him, with a gasp he understood what Azog wanted. Dipping a finger into the sludge he began to mark Azog's face with smudges of his own, it was an odd feeling seeing his mark on the albino's face, a stark contrast. Blinking away the feeling he continued on with his task til he had copied the patterns that Azog had made on him. When he set down the bowl the tribe broke out into shouts of joy. He stared as a few began to dance and sing, Azog laughing along with a few.

Smiling he decided to just watch the group as they danced and sang round the fire, keeping beat with hands and feet. It was nice to watch and just enjoy the heat that radiated off Azog in comforting waves. His eyelids began to droop, the party was starting to settle down most just talking amongst themselves. He let Azog pick him up, the saltwater crocodile following them at a subdued pace as he was brought to the hut.

It had changed, it no longer was bare with only a few furs laying about, but now furnished with cushions, furs and skulls. He liked it better before he was forced out of it. Yawning he sunk into the pillow that Azog set him upon, it was too late for him to head back to the ship, he might as well stay here for the night. He jumped when Azog kneeled before him, the albino's face twisted into a frightful grin. The man's hand coming up to run a thumb over the red smudge on his face, Azog breathed out a breathy call.

With whatever was said, Azog shot forward, pushing his back into the pillow as the man laid claim to his mouth. He gave a whine into the forced kiss as he felt Azog run a tongue over his lips, he gasped as he felt the man's hand wandered up his side. Gasping when the albino's fingers danced over his ribcage, his mouth was invaded by a tongue that forced him into mock-combat. With a muffled cry he tried to push Azog off him by the shoulders, hoping to set the man off balance he shifted the force to the arm running over his side.

Azog tipped over, using the lack of balance as a distraction Bilbo scampered back. As he huffed he watched the tribal leader with wide fearful eyes, he took in the albino's face as it scrunched up in rage. He gave a cry when he was pulled back under the man by an ankle, he felt tears prick his eyes and he turned his head away.

He had never done anything like, like that! He had never been interested in anything like that, he didn't have anyone interested in him like that anyways. He had always been considered boring, he had dated and kissed, but he had never, ever gone further than that.

Azog paused in his rage to take in the frightful face below him. Rumbling he pressed soft kisses to the eyelids of the smaller male, his anger vanishing. He nosed along the smudges, smudges he put there, with a hum. Waiting til Bilbo had stopped trembling in his grasp, he pulled back to press a kiss to the smaller man's palm.

“Mine,” He whispered keeping eye contact with the curly haired man beneath him, “my Bilbo.”

“A-Azog.” Bilbo stuttered out, his face wet with tears and the claiming smudges, “I- I don't... I didn't know. I'm just- I can't.”

Azog kissed the lips of his little beloved before rolling onto his side and waited for Bilbo to make a decision. Slowly the smaller man rolled over to face him, hands bunching the disheveled shawl.

Bilbo bit his lip before gesturing to the smudges on Azog's and his face. “What?”

Azog moved slightly to intertwine his fingers with Bilbo's smaller ones, “Love.”

Blushing Bilbo looked at their intertwined fingers with a mixture of horror and... joy. He realized what the celebration was for, he realized what the marks meant. He was married to Azog, and the smudges were their version of a wedding ring. Swallowing back his tears he pressed his forehead to Azog's arm, the giant pulling him to rest on the broad chest.

“Wait.” Azog said simply into Bilbo's curls. They would wait til Bilbo was ready for such activities.

Nodding, Bilbo looked up at Azog, who pressed a chaste kiss to his lips, and gave a small smile of gratitude, “Thank you.”

Laying his hand over Bilbo's cheek he pressed lightly into the smudges with his thumb, while his fingers massaged his husband's scalp, relaxing the other to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, don't even know what I just did... This is for Rose,who wanted an oblivious Bilbo being married to Tribal Azog! Hope it was kind of surprising...  
> Thanks for reading!


	15. 013. Snacks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU: Kindergarten; Azog has never played well with others, which has never been a problem until he met a little hobbit boy named Bilbo. Bilbo just moved from the Shire and just wants to make some friends and play with his little toy dragon Smaug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anon on tumblr, also known as Gray Face, requested Child!Bilbo and Child!Azog, a whole bunch of feels were released. Also Azog will have both his arms, just so that people don't get confused when I “talk” about them.  
> I also had dreams about this request, Azog saved Bilbo from Gandalf in my dream and Smaug turned into a real dragon and they flew away to Rivendalle, and I don't even! Being sick and dreaming equals, what is this fuckery.  
> Also Dear Peter Jackson, where the fuck is the extended addition you promised us, humm? Because I'm still waiting for that and it took you almost 7 months to get us the trailer for a movie you already had nearly filmed? ʘ˯ʘ I will start murdering people soon, I just want to see Hamfest GOD DAMN IT! (Thank you all for putting up with my rant.)

Bilbo shifted uncertainly, trying to hid behind the gray pants of his guardian. He didn't see why he had to leave all his nice friends in the Shire, it was a nice little place full of homes that all looked alike. His guardian, Gandy, didn't think that it was right for him to remain in the Shire, so they moved to Erebor. He had to move to this big house full of big stuff, he wasn't big like some of the other children, he was small by hobbit size, there was no way he could play with the big human or orc children.

Gandy kneeled in front of him with a kind smile hidden behind the long beard he had loved since he was a child. Resting old hands on his shoulder, Gandy looked him in the eye before pressing a light kiss to his forehead, “Now, my dear Bilbo, I won't be too far away. If you need me just have Radagast call me, alright?”

“Do you have to go?” Bilbo sniffled looking up at his guardian from behind his lashes.

“Yes, I have to teach the really big children, even adults need to learn.” Gandalf smiled before tapping the little hobbit's nose. Ignoring the hands reaching up to him with a shattered heart, he turned and left to go to the high school, where children, not as important, as his little hobbit child needed him.

With his lip trembling he watched as Ganday left him, Raday, Ganday's friend ushered him into a room with a bright yellow door covered with all sort of little animals. The brown haired man shushed him and said Gandy would be back.

“How do you know?” He whispered as he tried to rub away the tears with the heel of his hands.

“Because he's Gandalf, has Gandalf ever let you down?” Raday asked with a kind smile and presented him with a small box of juice.

“No,” Bilbo mumbled back around the straw. Gandy had never been late or early, the older man always saying that wizards arrived precisely when they mean to. Nodding at the smiling man, he took Raday's had and followed through the little cubby area. After placing down his backpack into one of the bottom holes, he sniffled and reached up for the brown haired man to pick him up.

Chuckling Radagast scooped up the tiny hobbit child with ease. Walking through another door, this one a green with a forest painted on it, he made his way into his little classroom. It was a small class, like all the classes, only a few children, all of whom were sleeping. Accept Azog, the little orc was sitting on his mat with a dangerous scowl.

The little pale orc was a bit of a problem child, never listening to any of the teachers and fighting with other students constantly. Azog sat on his mat, arms crossed and teeth bared, he didn't like nap time, it was boring. 

Bilbo peeked over his shoulder at the group resting on the floor, his eyes running over two dwarrows, an elf, a child of men, and an orc child. Squeaking when he met blue eyes, Bilbo hid back into Raday's shoulder. The orc child was big and scary, not like the other kids from the Shire, all children of men and hobbits.

Azog glanced up as Radagast came in, holding a small bundle of clothes and a curly top. The small bundle looked at him and he was met with eyes that reminded him of the night sky, the way how they sparkled full of colors; green, blue, and little flecks of brown that looked more like gold. Tilting his head he gave out a huff when the child turned away from him, he wasn't that scary.

Getting up Azog made a face when Radagast turned the small bundle away from him, “I wanna see 'em.”

“It's nap time, Azog.” Radagast spoke back kindly, and watched as the orc's face twisted into a menacing stare. Ignoring the orc in favor of the small hobbit who was trembling and asking for a Smaug, he went back to the child's backpack. He watched with a little twinkle in his eye as Bilbo pulled out a little plush dragon, the paint that once signified where scales were was gone and one of the wings was higher than the other, it was obviously well loved.

“We can go now,” Bilbo mumbled from behind Smaug, the red and gold dragon acting as a shield. Taking Raday's hand, he toddled back to the room with the sleeping children and scary orc boy. Sitting in a little beanie chair he played with Smaug, til the other children woke up, all while ignoring the stares from the bigger orc boy. 

He was introduced to each in succession; Thorin, the smaller dwarven child; Dwalin, the larger dwarven child; Thranduil, the elven child; Bard, the child of man; and Azog, the scary orc boy who kept staring at him. He moved away when it was time for them to play inside, the ground was muddy from the rain that morning, he found his own little corner to play in for him and Smaug. Fluttering around with the little dragon, he had Smaug fighting a giant army of knights, all in awe at his mighty dragon's power. Giggling he didn't see the smaller dwarven child stand over him til he was engulfed in the other's shadow.

Twisting his head so fast he felt his neck ache, he looked up at the frowning boy. Thorin's face was twisted and his fist balled at his side, slowly he opened his mouth, “What do you think you're doing?”

Bilbo hesitated to answer, “Playing...”

“With a filthy dragon?”

“Smaug isn't filthy, he's nice and clean,” Bilbo shot back with a frown, Raday was busy with Bard and Thraunduil, not paying attention as the dwarf lifted the stuffed dragon out of the little hobbit's hands. He gave a small cry of distress, hands reaching to rescue Smaug back, as he stood up on his tiptoes. The dwarf was much taller than him though, and simply just raised the dragon high. He gave a small whine, “Please give him back, Smaug!”

Thorin was suddenly shoved forward, the dwarf dropping the dragon in surprise. The hobbit swept the dragon off the ground with little tears forming in his eyes as he watched Smaug's rescuer stand between him and the dwarf. It was the pale orc boy, Azog, the orc's fist were shaking and he could hear the growling coming from the larger boy. Thorin paled slightly before running off with an angry scowl.

Turning to look at the small hobbit child, Bilbo, Azgo reminded himself, he wasn't happy to see little tears forming in the other's eyes. Hesitating to rest a hand on the other's curls he spoke out as gruffly as a child could at his age, “He's gone.”

“Thank you,” Bilbo all but wailed as he flung himself at the orc. His little arms barely reaching around the large boy's torso. Crying into the other's green t-shirt he buried his face into the fabric and spoke with a muffled tone of gratitude. “Thank you, thank you so much for getting Smaug back.”

Azog stiffened up his arms lifted into the air in surprise, before he gave a pleased rumble close to a cats and rested his arms around the small hobbit's shoulders. Letting the boy calm down into his shirt, that was now sticking to his body, he began to herd the smaller child over to the snack table. He set the smaller boy into his favorite chair with ease, the hobbit child was a little pillow to him, and just as warm. He let the hobbit cuddle into his side while he offered his favorite snack to the tiny thing, dried meat.

Bilbo took the meat with little complaint and offered his favorite to Azog, apple slices with some caramel. The two eat in a comfortable silence munching on their little snacks and sometimes feeding Smaug because dragons get hungry too. Giving a small yawn he curled up into the radiating warmth of the larger body, Azog was warm, giving a small sigh when the orc rested an arm around his shoulders and felt the weight of the other's head on his own. He drifted off to sleep in the noisy room, Azog following shortly after, curling around the small hobbit with a protective grumble. 

Radagast was finally done praising Thranduil's and Bard's paintings when he looked around to make a special note of the little hobbit entrusted to him. Only to pale when he didn't see the small child with Thorin and Dwalin, he had thought that the two would warm up to Bilbo the fastest because they were a similar size, but he didn't see the two with the small hobbit. Thorin was making a pouting glare at the other side of the room, the little boy's face twisted with jealousy and anger.

Turning, making sure to be careful of the little paints that Bard had left everywhere, he remembered how Gandalf had threatened him if anything happened to the little hobbit. Gandalf was unsurprisingly protective of the small child, the wizard had to be persuaded to let Bilbo even go to school. He let out a relieved sigh when he caught sight of the curly hair of the hobbit surrounded by Azog, the pale orc huddled around the hobbit in a protective gesture by the snack table. Smiling at how cute the two looked and happy to see Azog behaving for once, he turned around and praised Bard again when the boy shoved a painting of what looked to be vomit in his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this was long... but I couldn't just be like, here is the hobbit he's going to this school, he meets an orc, the fucking end.   
> Won't be any updates today unless people put in a request and such. Going to be working and trying to finish up what might be the last chapter to Cheaper by the dozen, or more. I should really finish that piece, it needs the love.   
> Thank you for reading!


	16. 017. Possibilities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU: Modern Day; Bilbo and Azog are owners of two companies trying to have a relationship through life's everyday struggles.  
> Warning: M-preg

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As requested by Anon, M-preg. If you don't like M-preg then please just don't read the story, I will respect your opinion if you chose to comment on whether it's “bad” or not. For any of you who don't like M-preg please go see the comic A seahorse Fanfic, it kinda explains my view with satire, sorry for almost shoving my opinion down your throat.  
> (Not really big into M-preg, but it doesn't bother me and Anon requested this. Reminder; I will write what you request because you give me your time by reading, so I will give you my time by trying to write something worthy of your time.) Love you all!

Sitting in the hallway of the doctor's office had to be the worst way to spend a Tuesday, or at lest that was what Azog thought. Bilbo had been sick for a month now, throwing up in the morning and being dizzy with nausea. He and the boys were worried for the hobbit, Frodo and Bolg were sitting on either side of him. Bolg was copying his jostling of his leg moving up and down at a fast pace, the sounds of their thighs hitting the chairs echoing through the hall. Frodo just hide his young face in Azog's balled up sleeve of stump on his left. 

The boys had come to live with them a little before their third year of dating; Azog's former fling from his youth had died from an overdose leaving him with his almost tween son. Bilbo's distant cousins had died during a boating accident, so Bilbo's toddler cousin was given to Bilbo as decided in the Will. The boys came to live with them with in the same week; their lives were quite turned on their heads. The boys took a long time to get used to their guardian's/father's lover/partner; they had agreed that if the boys weren't comfortable with them being together then they wouldn't stay together. It had been a very stressful time for them both, they were unwilling to breakup, but would do so if it was best for their boys.

Everything worked out in the end, Bolg loved Bilbo more than the boy had ever loved his own mother. Frodo loved Azog, even though the boy was deathly afraid of the large orc, and now saw Azog as the family's large, but kind protector. Bolg and Frodo had been the ring bearers of their wedding, even though Frodo, who had just turned nine, mental equivalent of a five year old, had to be held by Bilbo half way through the ceremony. They were happy, Bolg loving his little brother and had nearly disabled a fellow student for saying Frodo was otherwise.

They had been married a little over a year when Bilbo had started to get sick, Bolg asking what was wrong with his mom, Frodo crying and asking his Unca to eat. Azog rested his head in his hand, why hadn't he brought Bilbo to the doctors sooner, he was Bilbo's husband and it was his job to look after Bilbo. Which made him angrier that a foolish wizard of a doctor had forced them out of the room that now held a lone Bilbo and a gray wizard.

The wizard, Gandalf, was in Azog's opinion Bilbo's stalker. The old man following the hobbit around, trying to do Azog's job. At first Azog had been afraid that the old man was trying to steal Bilbo away from him, but after the wizard had confronted him about his reasons for dating Bilbo he realized that the wizard was more of an uncle or older brother than a boxer smelling creep. The wizard was also Bilbo's family doctor, Frodo loved the old man, Bolg and him causally planned the wizard's murder. 

Three heads turned as Gandalf walked out, his face bright and smile cheerful. He turned to them with a badly concealed smile, “You may now see Bilbo.”

Bolg and Frodo skipped into the room, the two boys creating a breeze with their pace. Azog stayed outside for a few seconds, sending Gandalf a warning glare, “If you did anything to hurt him, I swear you will not leave this building.”

Gandalf just chuckled and walked away, leaving a fuming Azog in the doorway. Azog turned with a growl following after his boys to check on his husband. He walked in faster than he intended, his boots leaving nasty scuffs and cracks in the floor. Breathing a sigh of relief when he saw his husband sitting casually in the doctor's chair, covered in wax paper and awful plastic cushions, their boys cuddling around the middle aged hobbit.

Sweeping forward to press a soft kiss to his husband forehead, then the sweet upturned button nose, next the flavorful red lips; he ignored their boys' reactions. Blog fake gagged while Frodo laughed at his older brother's overreacting into his unca's plump side. Rolling his eyes Azog pulled back and examined the pamphlets on his husbands lap.

“What are these?” Azog asked his voice soft as he looked over the top one's title, “Telling your other half that you're with child. Slowly he looked up, his shocked, wide eyes meeting his husband's fearful ones. He took in his hobbit's position, curled in between their boys, one hand on Bolg's shoulder, the other rested protectively over the hobbit's plump middle as Frodo tried to roll of Bolg's tickling arm.

Surging forward Azog scooped up his family; Frodo squeaking and holding on to his unca for dear life, Bolg shouting that he wasn't a child and trying to kick his father's side while trying to cradled his mom, Bilbo laughing in relief and joy as he curled into his husbands front. Azog rested on the floor, his family unevenly dispersed in his lap, his voice shaking as he whispered hoarsely into his husband's curls. “Tell me it's true, please tell me it is.”

Bilbo kissing his husbands jugular as he smiled his arm's circling the wide shoulders. His own voice hiccuping, “It's true, I am.”

Bolg frowned, was his mom sick, was he going to die? His eyes widened with fear and his mouth opened slightly, no, no, no, no! His arms wrapping around his small mom, as tears began to form, his voice cracking from young age and the start of puberty. “Mom, don't die! Mom!”

Frodo followed his older brother's lead and began to sob into his unca's shirt, he didn't want unca to leave too, he loved unca just as much as unc Azog. He wailed as he and his brother were wrapped in unca's arms, the older hobbits voice shushing them and sweet kisses pressed to their foreheads. Unc Azog, cradling them rumbling out in a deep voice that everything was alright.

“Shush, sweetlings, shush.” Bilbo cooed into his boys' foreheads, “I'm not dieing, quite the opposite. I- we have great news.”

“You're going to be getting a younger brother or sister.” Azog tightened his grip on his family, his boys looking at them with confusion and hope. “Our Bilbo is pregnant.”

“Like those ladies that have really big stomachs and eat weird food?”

“So mom's going to get really big?”

“Bolg!”

“What, you are aren't you? You know cause there is a baby growing inside of you.”

“Is that where babies come from?”

“Yes,” Azog answered before his son could defile the young hobbit any more. The young orc rolled his eyes before diving back into the conversation between Bilbo and Frodo. Grumbling he watched as his family laid spread out on his lap, all of it. Their newest member offering up so many possibilities. Twining his fingers with Bilbo's he smiled and kissed the pointed ears, their lives now had so many possibilities. They could have their first girl, or another son. Azog swallowed down the fear, he knew how to handle children, but not babies. Biting his lip he met Bilbo's eyes the silent message being conveyed with a gentle smile.

We can do this, the future is full of possibilities.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Didn't quite fill the request, but I will after I write the other one really quick.  
> Thank you all for reading.


	17. 016. Searching

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU: Modern Day; Bilbo and Azog are owners of two companies trying to have a relationship through life's everyday struggles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to do, I knew what I wanted, I just didn't know how I was going to do it.  
> For Anon from tumblr and the lovely Beargirl1393. (I'm legit people go check 'em out!)

This was getting ridiculous, Bilbo thought with a deep frown. It was him, again. His ex, Pordren Iron, the most obnoxious and rude dwarf to ever live. Pordren had been very sweet in the beginning of their relationship, the dwarf nothing less than a gentleman. Everything changed after Dori and him thought that they would go under and he needed his partner of one year the most, the dwarf had left him in his time of need. Pordren had called him many things, the most stinging was; burden, failure, and a slut.

He could handle the dwarf any day of the week, he ran a company with Dori, re-routing dwarves was his specialty. Today would be no different if it wasn't for a particular orc. Azog, the orc had scheduled a meeting with Dori and him, the pale orc walking in like he owned the place. It turned out that was exactly what the orc planned to do. Only Bilbo had been a bit late to the meeting, he had walked in on Dori and Azog fighting over contracts and ownership of land. The orc had cut off mid-sentence after catching sight of him. The orc darkened in color before asking for his name and then just leaving in a huff. 

Since then, Bilbo had noticed the orc everywhere. He felt as if the orc was stalking him, at the market, riding the tube, and even at the tea shops. Dori and him knew that they couldn't ban the orc from the two shops without a valid reason, and shopping wasn't one of them. Things started to make sense today; the orc had asked him out on a date five times. The first time had been over the phone as soon as he opened up one of the tea shops, he had declined as soon as the orc worked up the courage to ask. He felt bad for stuttering out a no and hanging up, but he was pretty sure that Azog was just looking for ways to buy out their company. The next time Azog had asked was during the slow period in the morning, the orc walked in with nervous posture and flaring nostrils before asking again. Again, he said no, with a flustered face and trembling knees.

He hated how he didn't know what to do when people wanted to spend time with him that wasn't business related, Thorin said it was because he was socially awkward. The dwarf shouldn't be talking, Thorin walked around with a face that screamed he was emotionally constipated. Thorin's family agreed, Nori had patted Thorin on the shoulder and offered her lover a small smile. The middle Ri sibling had saved Bilbo from the next time Azog asked him out. The orc had placed a large order with a small request of a date, Nori had shoved it back in the orc's face with a threat of death. Bilbo had calmed down his old friend with a bit of crumpets. Nori muttered to herself her whole lunch break.

The next time Azog had tried to ask him out had been on his own lunch break, he had escaped to Bofur's toyshop/cafe. He had ordered his usual; a coffee and a sandwich with a side salad and some toast. Just as he pulled out his wallet to pay Bifur had signed that his meal had been paid for and offered a small slip of paper that read, “Please go on a date with me” -Azog. This time he ran out with a red face, he ran til he returned to the shop and hid behind his hands whenever someone asked what was wrong. 

He couldn't help it, no one had ever gone through so much work, time, effort, and money for him. Ever. He didn't know whether to fling himself at the orc or to fill out the paperwork for a restraining order. It was sweet how hard the orc was trying, it was enough to make him bite his lip and watch the orc pass by the shop under his lashes. It was cute how the orc would walk up to their shop's doors, make eye contact with him and then leave in an embarrassed huff. It made his heart flutter and his cheeks warm. Until the fifth time the orc tried to ask him out, only to be derailed by Thorin and Dwalin, the latter pretending to be Bilbo's current partner and sent the orc away with a snarl and a threat.

Azog had stormed out of the shop, face set in anger and defeat. He had turned to Bilbo and spoke with a deep tone, “Fine, I understand if you don't wish to have just one date with me, but at least tell me to my face. Don't send your guard dog after me because I can tell I was wrong about what kind of person you were.”

The words had sliced through him in a way they shouldn't have. He had felt sorrowed by the thought of the orc giving up, he felt his heart beat slow down and his eyes sting. He wanted to say yes, he really did, but he had to do what was best for the company and his own health. He was no longer a young lad able to make foolish choices with his heart, he wouldn't be able to survive the next heartbreak. So when Pordren showed up after the shop had closed, Bilbo felt his soul shatter with the events of what happened before.

Shaking his head with determination Bilbo cut Pordren off when the dark haired dwarf tried to speak, “No. I will never, ever take you back after what you did. NEVER.”

“Why is there someone else in your life? What do they have that I don't have?” Pordren asked his fists shaking at his sides. Moving forward he grabbed hold of the small hobbits forearm. He tried to press his forehead to Bilbo's, but the hobbit moved back. “Why can't you just forget the past, I said I was sorry.”

“No you didn't! You just claimed to have spoken the words in anger, you never apologized,” Bilbo hissed as he ripped his arm from the dwarf's grip, “You always do this, always. You claim to be sorry, but then you turn around and just spout more venom. I'm sick of it, I'm sick of you!”

“I'm saying I'm sorry now!” Pordren moved forward, “I'm sorry alright! Just please listen to me, I never mean-”

“Yes you did!” Bilbo cried, his eyes stinging as he pictured Azog walking by the shop. The orc's eyes nervous, but posture determined, til the pale orc caught sight of him and ran off with a black blush. He had given the orc up out of fear, he had passed Azog by because he was afraid that the orc would turn out just like Pordren. “You meant every word, and you know it. I'm sick of what you did to me, I had someone who was kind and sweet ask me out on a date,” He continued on even when the dwarf made a cry of rage, “I didn't take him up on his offer because of YOU. I couldn't say yes because I was afraid he would turn into another cretin like you.”

Bilbo spoke deep and angry now, poking at Pordren's chest with every word, “You are nothing more than a selfish prick, who is abusive and manipulative. I would rather date a molding mountain troll than ever, EVER seeing you ever again.”

“But, I- Bilbo, please,” Pordren moved forward, unknowingly pushing Bilbo closer to the edge of the sidewalk towards the busy intersection. “I just was afraid, alright, I didn't want you to leave. You're so much better than me and I was afraid that you would leave me for someone better!”

“I loved you, you pig head-” Bilbo shrieked as he lost his footing, the curb slipping from under him as he fell backwards. Watching in slow motion as he flailed his arms for balance, the world slowly turning to sky, the vision of Pordren reaching for him vanishing. Swallowing he saw the car coming, swiftly making its way down the street, its driver on the phone while twiddling with the radio. With wide eyes and fluttering heart Bilbo was sure this was how he was going to die. It was strange that he was going to die picturing Azog over him, the orc's lone arm circling him in a protective embrace. The orc's eyes wide with horror, but face twisted with anger and jaw set in a determined lock.

Squeezing his eyes shut, Bilbo waited for the painful impact, for the feeling of his body shattering and splatting over the pavement. It never came. He only felt the warm body surrounding him on all sides, the quick motion of a chest inhaling and exhaling in rapid succession, and the grumbling of a deep voice yelling in anger. Slowly he ungrasped the warm shirt before him, the scent of rock, earth, and the smell of a warm day overriding his nose. Pulling back slightly he caught sight of Azog, the orc shouting at Pordren and the car's driver.

Azog was kneeling on the hard pavement, back to the car, shirt sweaty from obvious running. Shouting things at the two, he gripped the small hobbit to his chest a little tighter as he swore that he would kill the two if the hobbit wasn't alright. His blue eyes hard with rage and worry, hand shaking where it gripped Bilbo's shoulder. With a small gasp Bilbo put two and two together, he had risked his life to save a hobbit who had turned him down five times that very day.

Putting his hands over his mouth, Bilbo rested his head on the orc's chest. The crowd disappearing after receiving a command from the large pale orc, Pordren leaving with a pale face. Slowly tears began to leak from his eyes, he was such an awful person, awful, awful person. Not caring if Azog was really looking at him, he began to cry and whisper out apologies, “I'm so sorry, Azog, oh by the Green lady. Azog I'm so sorry, I didn't want to say no, I was just so scared. I'm so sorry. Please, please forgive me, please.”

The orc rested his chin on the sobbing hobbit's curls, shushing the crying creature in his arms with a coo, he waited to the hobbit wasn't sobbing anymore. “I'll forgive you on one condition: go on a date with me, right now. I pay, you honestly tell me afterwards if you want to continue.”

“Oh, by the Green lady, yes.” Bilbo smiled with tear clotted eyelashes and flushed cheeks.

Azog nodded mutely before carrying them to the restaurant down the street. After a few moments he breathed out a small warning, “I'm not the neatest eater, just so that you know, it's a little hard with just one arm.”

Bilbo smiled into the orc neck, giving out a small breathless laugh, “If that's your only fault I might just ask you to marry me.”

Azog tightened his grip before audibly swallowing. “I would like that.” He grinned as the hobbit hid in his shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not pleased, but this version is better than the other one that almost caused me to flip tables.  
> Thank you for your time and patients.  
> Trying to add another chapter, but my internet has failed me.


	18. 019. Reasons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU: Modern Day; Bilbo and Azog are owners of two companies trying to have a relationship through life's everyday struggles.  
> Warning: More M-preg

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second half from Chapter 16: Possibilities. Now I have fully filled the prompt!  
> Might be working two jobs soon, updates will be much slower then, sorry, but my family and future always are my main priority.

 Bilbo Baggins loved his family, he really did. He could just live without his young nephew asking every male that the lad saw and asked if they had a baby was growing inside of them, then proceeding to inform them that he knew where babies came from. He could live without his son-in-law forcing strange concoctions down he throat, that the young orc looked up on line for the baby's health. He most certainly could live without his husband’s constant hovering.

 

Azog wouldn't allow him to be in a room by himself, even when he was just sitting down and relaxing. The orc would throw a fit anytime he so much as tried to dress himself, as well as nearly knocked out a poor woman at the grocery store for bumping into him. Azog was right now, trying to keep him from going to work.

 

“No.”

 

“Bilbo, you're being ridiculous, you know you shouldn't strain yourself.”

 

“I may look as if I shoved a fruit under my shirt, Azog, but that will NOT keep me from the paper work that needs to be done.”

 

“It can wait,” Azog all but whined trying to herd Bilbo back to the bed, his husband not even dressed yet. Ever since he had found out that Bilbo was pregnant with his child, the thought still made him a little possessive dark creature curl up with pleasure inside his mind, he had been plagued with worry. The child would be more akin to a goblin, but even then it would be a half-orc, half-hobbit child, it would come out large and heavy. Males didn't have an exit for the child, which meant Bilbo had to be watched and monitored at all times for many reasons; one, males didn't have a uterus; two, the child would have to be taken out through a C-section; three, Bilbo would be feeding the child the hobbit's own body; four, the child would average out to be the weight of a small human babe, almost twice as much as a hobbit child; and five, male hobbit pregnancies, unlike elves', were very rare and there wasn't much information on it. The thought of losing Bilbo for their child, as cruel as it may sound, wasn't worth the risk. He still had nightmare of losing the child or Bilbo, or being left in the world without either of them.

 

“No. It. Can't.” Bilbo groaned letting Azog set him on the bed, he loved his husband with his whole being, but some days... Placing kisses upon his husband's frowning brow, he framed the orc's face with his smaller hands and spoke in a soothing voice, “Dori has been kind enough to take care of all the manual labor I have ever had to do, after you threw a fit, and that leaves me with the paper work. He don't have the time, let alone the energy to do it, which means I have to. Now, for the love of the Green Lady, please let me do my job, and keep Bolg away from the kitchen.”

 

* * *

 

Azog swallowed as he walked through their door, the test results in hand. He trusted Bolg and Frodo to take their mom/unca to the doctor; both boys behaving much better since Bilbo's hormones started to act up. It was his job to pick up the results, a little white envelop that held numbers and words that could either kill him or make him sigh in relief. They had agreed to wait to open the results til they were all together, leaving Azog to drive home with it, mocking him from the passenger seat. The little envelop a constant reminder about what he could lose and gain, he would just glare down the road, griping the steering wheel a little tighter.

 

He had returned home per the norm, slamming closed the door, resting his one hand on the warm hood of his truck, gasping for breath as he tried to forget about the white envelop. After fetching the cursed item, he made his way inside up the stairs to the second floor, greeting the dragon as he passed, and had opened the door to their apartment. His breath had left though his nose at a rapid pace at the sight of his family.

 

Bilbo laid curled up on the couch, Frodo and Bolg on either side, eating a bowl of what looked to be chocolate ice cream, BBQ chips, mustard, and Azog was pretty sure was a grilled green pepper. The three watching one of Frodo's cartoons, the boy bouncing as he explained the show to his brother and unca. Bolg grumbling about being too old while trying to shove one of his latest concoctions down his mom's throat, one that Gandalf approved of. Bilbo making a face at Bolg, but taking the shake/sludge with no complaint, and cooing at Frodo while he eat his ice cream-thing.

 

Azog crumpled the devil in his hand when the three sent him a blinding smile and sweet hellos. Bolg catching sight of the envelop and making up an excuse to bring Frodo to the kitchen, he sent a thankful nod to his son. Crossing the living room to the couch after closing the door gently and toeing off his boots, many thought it was weird that he wore steel toed boots to the office. Sitting down next to his husband, he hunched over and stared down his demon laying innocently in his hands.

 

When Azog jumped when he laid a hand on the orc thigh, Bilbo resisted the urge to roll his eyes and throw something at the orc. Laying a kiss to the orc's shoulder, still covered with a nice button up shirt, he spoke with a voice that tried to hide his tiredness, “You don't have any reason to worry so much, Gandalf checked me over twice for my physical.”

 

“I have every reason to worry.”

 

Bilbo sighed and rested his forehead to his husband's arm, he knew Azog worried, they all did. Frodo and Bolg sleeping with them at night, the two boys curling around him while they rested against Azog's side. The orc had been having nightmare, more so than usual, his husband would wake up roaring in pain. At first he thought that it was a night-memory about losing his left arm again, but he soon changed that thought when Azog muttered about lose, blood, and a white envelop.

 

“I love you,” Azog choked out, his remaining hand trembling. He couldn't stand the thought of something happening to Bilbo, especially when it was because of him. He should have been more careful; he couldn't stand the thought of losing his hobbit, not because of himself. “I worry that I might lose you,” Azog snorted and rested his head against his fisted hand, the white envelop crumpling in the silence, “It would be all my fault too, I would kill you.”

 

Azog nearly fell off the coach when Bilbo slapped his arm, his eyes wide he took in his husband's rage. His hobbit was shaking with tears streaming from beautiful green eyes, a choked sob escaping from the little throat, hands trembling over the swollen stomach that now was the size of a basket ball.

 

“Never, ever say that ever again.” Bilbo hissed through his tears, “I was never, will never, be hurt by you ever. This child is ours, a testament of our love and care for each other, I love this child just as I love our boys, and I will never regret having a child with you. Unless it's a girl and she brings home a boyfriend or girlfriend because I don't want to know how you will react to that.”

 

Azog laughed through his own tears, cradling Bilbo to his chest, white envelop forgotten til Bolg came asking for what the test showed. Everything was alright, everything was perfect, and Bilbo was in perfect health. Bilbo had read the report while he rested his forehead against petite shoulders.

 

* * *

 

Roaring Azog threw a chair in the nurse's direction, the man cowering away. “Where is he? Where is Bilbo?”

 

The hospital shook at his rage, Bolg and Frodo cowering in a corner; the two never seeing their mom/unca in such pain and their father/unc so angry. Snarling when security came to try to move him away, Azog grabbed one of the men by the throat, the teeth bared ready to take a bite out of the fool that stood between him and his birthing husband. Giving another roar of rage as he was pulled back from the filth, he turned to find Gandalf the old man's eyes disappointed and hard. Slapping the aged hand of his shoulder he continued to pace and growl.

 

Bolg slowly inched forward as Gandalf beckoned him and Frodo over, clutching Frodo's hand he shushed the small hobbit lightly. Hugging his younger brother to his side he glanced at the wizard before he went back to watching his father with a questioning gaze. “Is this normal?”

 

“For orcs who's spouse or other half is screaming while giving birth, this might be one of the more tame reactions if have seen.” Gandalf grumbled, wishing he could pick young Frodo up as the hobbits cried and lip wobbled.

 

“Tame?” Bolg cried scandalously. “This is tame?” He questioned as he gestured to the hallway outside of where the doctors and nurses whisked off his mom. The chairs, once bolted to the floor, littered to cracked tile floor, holes and dents in the walls, and bits of the ceiling crumbling away.

 

“Yep.”

 

Azog growled at the wizard as he moved to swoop up his nephew, pressing kisses to the hobbit's temple as the boy cried into his shirt. Ignoring the wrinkles caused by small fists and snot, he paced with the child in his arms, whispering words to reassure himself more than the sobbing hobbit.

 

Gandalf's and Bolg's conversation and Azog's pacing was interrupted by a bright smiling elf, her voice light and chiming like a bell. “Congratulations, your husband has birthed a healthy baby-”

 

The rest was lost as the four ran past, Frodo mostly just hung onto his unc for dear life. Azog nearly missing the door containing Bilbo until he heard a call of now Mr. Gundabad-Baggins. Skidding to a halt and turning on his heels and shoving his son back to the sickly white door. The four heaving a sigh of relief at the sight before them.

 

Bilbo laid curled in the bed in the bed a little yellow bundle cradled in his arms, his face soft with a sheen of sweat as he cooed at the new being in his arms. The white sheets stained with red blood, his stitched up stomach only slightly poking out from the side. Smiling as Azog hovered over him, obviously treating him like glass, eyes drifting between the bundle and his scaring stomach. Leaning up he pressed a small kiss to the orc's chin, Azog suddenly wrapping him in a familiar and warm embrace.

 

“Look at him,” Bilbo cooed to the small baby in his arms, shifting their son so that Azog may look at the babe's face. He was large for a hobbit to birth, with dark steel black skin, large feet, pointed ears, and wide blue-green eyes. “Our little boy is so beautiful.”

 

Azog didn't speak, only rubbing his knuckle gently over the dark chubby cheeks of his son, smiling as the babe gave a confused babble. Hiding his face in his husband's shoulder, he silently cried in joy and thanked the gods above.

 

“Frodo, Bolg,” Bilbo called to their boys after Azog regained control, “Come over here and say hello to your baby brother, Azlo. Gandalf you can come too, might as well met him while he's young and wont make you chase him around the your office.”

 

Gandalf chuckling remembering Bilbo as a young child, leaning over the awing Frodo and Bolg, he smiled down at the gargling babe. He patted Frodo on the head as the boy wondered out loud about how much the babe looked like a hobbit and an orc. Bolg rolling his eyes and reminding Frodo that their younger brother was actually that.

 

Azog rumbled as he kissed his husband's temple, “Azlo, is a fine name for our youngest son.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there you have it, I have filled the request.  
> I am bad at names, Azlo... Camp Lazlo... I'll go back to my corner of shame now.  
> Thank you all for reading!


	19. 015. Band

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU: Modern Day; Bilbo and Azog are owners of two companies trying to have a relationship through life's everyday struggles.
> 
> Warning: M!Preg and offensive language

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A request of Bilbo's ex trying to get back prego!Bilbo and it all going to shit. (That is not exactly what they said, that just how my notes go...)

This was for his boy, this was for his boy. Bilbo repeated the mantra over and over again. This was for one of his boys. The reason he was at some bar down town, Bolg's best friend's older sister was in a band that was playing and Azog wasn't able to come because of work. He only agreed because Gandalf volunteered to watch Frodo, and he wasn't going to leave a child alone in some bar with God-only-know-what-kind-of-people would be there. So here he was, sitting in a bar, listening to music he hated for one of his boys. This was for his boy, this was for one of his boys.

He probably would have felt a lot better if Azog was there, being a hobbit looking after an orc and a young nue was something his husband would have handled with grace. Unlike him who had to throw his glasses at people to keep them away from the two children, he was more than certain a child molester was perusing about. He sent a glare to a chimera that had tried to approach. He would feel much better when Azog would come in a few minutes to pick them up, luckily the band was getting ready to play their last songs and taking a few requests. 

Bolg was tired, the young orc leaning heavily on his mom. Grumbling unhappily when the slightly showing hobbit moved. Bolg was more than happy to go and hang out with his friend, Zane, when the nue was forced to go watch a performance by an older sister, but right now he just wanted to curl up with his mom and go to sleep. He jolted when a voice he hated with a passion called out for his mom. Bearing his teeth, he snarled at the dwarf before him.

Pordren stood in the low lights of the bar, drink in hand, obviously too drunk to function. The dwarf's face was flushed from alcohol, “Bilbo!”

Bilbo groaned and Bolg snarled, “Pordren.”

Too drunk to even catch the curt snipped tone, Pordren waddled forward as Zane's sister swept up the young nue. “Bilbo, my love! So good to see you.” The dwarf purred setting a sweaty hand on Bilbo's thighs.

“Pordren, get off!”

“Why, love?”

“Because I'm not yours and I, unlike you, am faithful to my husband.”

Pordren pouted, “I was never unfaithful. You're just upset because he doesn't fuck you right.”

Bolg nearly choked on his own spit, of all the things he needed to hear at that moment in time, his parents' sex live was not one of them. Gathering himself, he pushed the dwarf off of his mom, “Back off cretin, leave my mom alone before I rip out an eye of yours, hell it might even be an improvement.”

Pordren snorted, “A little bold aren't you for being a pale orc's bastard son.”

Pordren was surprised when he was pushed back by the hobbit, “Don't you dare talk about my boy like that.”

“It's not like you birthed one of his kids! He ain't yours, he's some bitch's!” Pordren put his hands up in defense. 

“No, he is my boy, one of MY children. If you don't watch what you say to him I will make you regret it.” Bilbo growled at the dwarf. Bolg's arms were wrapped around him tightly, in affection and protection. The two of them standing their ground until Azog could come and get them.

“Mom, don't, you shouldn't fight in your state,” Bolg whispered, “Father is already upset as it is.”

“What state?” Pordren asked with a frown.

Bolg whipped his head to snarl at the dwarf, “My mom is pregnant with my father's child, so get lost you useless sack of shi-”

“Bolg!”

“Sorry mom.”

Pordren suddenly busted out laughing, the small crowd being shooed off by a bouncer. The dwarf's shoulders shook with mirth, “Oh that's rich! You're pregnant with that thing's child! Like- like some whore who spread its legs for a good fuck.”

Bolg nearly lunched himself at the dwarf for saying such things about his mom and soon-to-be sibling. Bilbo paling in the orc's arms, his hands shaking slightly.

“I bet you took it like some filthy wanton whore too, probably let more than Azog at you.” The dwarf's mirth turned to spite fast, “Bet you begged for it.” The dwarf moved forward with a dark gaze, “I could help you with your problem, I could,” There was a dark pause as the dwarf's gaze went to the slight bulge of Bilbo's stomach, “Fix it.”

Gasping Bilbo covered the unborn life within him as the dwarf stormed forward, both he and Bolg paled with fear. The two of them shaking for different reasons. Bilbo pushed farther into the counter at his back, brokenly whispering, “No.”

A roar cut Pordren off of his drunken rampage, a white blur tackling the dwarf into a table and some chairs. The dwarf gasped and groaned under the weight on his chest and the cold metal pushing his air way closed. A snarling white orc pinning him to the floor in rage, the broken pieces of wood splintering into his back and a clawed hand ripping into his face. Pointed teeth ground next to his ear, a deep haunting voice cut through the pain, causing a spike of fear to stab at his heart.

“Don't you ever touch my husband or children.”

The orc was pulled by by security, roaring and doing more damage, Pordren didn't pay attention, he was too busy shaking and clutching his bleeding face. He remembered why he was so afraid of the orc, who was an ex-gang leader and still killed people without the Knowles of his husband and family. Shivering he let some people help him up, he wasn't going to be able to sleep tonight.

Bilbo shivered as he a Bolg followed Azog out, the bouncers letting go of the orc on his insisting. As soon as the cold night air brushed over his skin, he was swept up by a powerful arm. He clutched at the soft fabric of his husband's jacket, the rumbling of his orcs calming him from his scare. The family collapsing against the building onto the cold cement in a huddle of affection.

“You are never leaving my sight again,” Azog growled at his husband, his hand shaking as it buried into the soft curls, “Never.”

“I think I will be just fine with that love,” Bilbo mumbled into the jacket, breathing in the smell of home and safety. 

“Can I claw out his eyes?”

“No,” Bilbo patted Bolg on the head, “afraid not dear.”

“I will though.” Azog grumbled as he looked down at the round flesh containing his second child. Leaning down he lifted up the layers keeping him from his husband's stomach, peppering soft kisses to the swollen flesh. He breathed a sigh of relief when he felt the soft kicking and heard the heartbeat of his husband. “And you both are never going to see another band ever.”

“But, father,” Bolg whined, he actually liked Zane's sister's band.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not how I wanted it, but I like it well enough.


	20. 020. Bail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU: Soul Mates; Orcs don't have soul mates, so when Azog is born with an intricate mark tattooed on his back every orc thought it was a sign from their god. Azog had thought that himself until he saw his mark on a hobbit, and the elves' words didn't seem so mythical anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this took so long to get this one out. I saw the ask in my email and thought it was from that weight loss blog and gave it the thinned lip smile of going to cut a bitch. Then I went through my messages the other day and found this, I AM SO SORRY. I didn't intend to ignore this, but I did, so I made its own AU to make up for it. So there will be lots of stories for this. Sorry again for who ever requested this.

 When Azog was born with vines and swirls of gold and green, interlacing and twining on his back, his mother tossed him out. He had survived in the deepest darkest chasm, alone and starving. His only companion the tattoo, its shimmering gold and its warm green keeping him calm when he saw the slight glow on the cave's walls. When he had made his way back up to the orc inhabited caves; naked as the day his mother threw him down there, and scarred from the traps laid from all creatures of the mountains; he was met with whispers and threats. He cut down the offending orcs before him, each orc with their steel and leather fell to his raw strength and need to survive. It wasn't until he killed the tribe leader and his mother that his gold and green mark no longer was a curse, it was a sign sent to them from their creator and master.

 

His pack, its numbers growing with every year he remained as leader, had learned early on not to touch the tattoos. An orc or two did, they were cut down not a second later and all those who were their kin were punished. The orc pack fallowed him without question, for even at his age his leadership had proven true. When he had finally matured to be a tween by orc standards the pack had brought back a small group of elves, they were to act as entertainment til it was their time to act as food. He himself had never used them, but it was always fun to watch.

 

The elves hissed and cried, but one of them gave a shrill call of surprise when it caught sight of his back. Soon the whole group was whispering out shocked words and giving out prayers of protection. The noise soon grated on his ears, he howled and kicked the one to cry out, the she-elf fell to the dirty floor with a pained cry. “Silence,” He bellowed at the group. Slowly with the grace of a warg he made his way around her body until he arrived at her head. Pulling her up by her hair he barked at her in elvish, “Tell me, what do you fear, is it me or is it my blessing?”

 

He knew that the elf knew that his tattoo was not normal for orcs, the elf didn't flinch as he spat in her face. She hissed at him through the pain as she hung by her golden hair, “I do not fear you, dark blood. I fear for the one you are bonded to.”

 

“Bonded to?” Azog tilted his head in mock interest. The elf could believe what ever it wanted, he knew that the group was probably on the brink of death. Another fun thing to watch when their minds gave way under their torture and bodies' decay.

 

“You have the mark of a soul mate, one who will bare your cursed spawn. I feel deep sorrow for them because they deserve better, but the Gods gave them a creature like you.” She continued to explain the history behind soul mates and what it meant. Azog had simply laughed in the elf's face and had thrown her out of his pit, her amusing story acting as bail for her freedom.

 

-o_o¯o-o_o¯o-o_o¯o-o_o¯o-o_o¯o-

 

Tracking down the prince; not a king, not yet; had been very entertaining. His wargs and orcs were being fed and entertained. He had at first felt rage when one of his scouting groups had let the prince get away, then he realized he would have to go to his pray. He was no longer angry about losing his arm, no he learned that revenge was best served cold. No, he was enraged by something else, for on that day when he lost his arm, the prince had slashed at him, in his back. He had roared for years with rage, his mark, HIS MARK had been deformed. The gold didn't shine where he was scared, the gold was no longer alive, but dead. He had felt, still felt, as if the prince had taken something worth more than ruling all of Middle Earth.

 

So when word came that the goblins had his prize, he moved his whole warg pack and his most trusted brothers with him. He grinned as he caught sight of the prince, smelling of fear and goblin slime. He gave out short barks of laughter at the shrieks and shrills of fear as the trees began to topple under his command. When the group was hanging by their doom and he had his prize laying passed out at his feet he felt the flood of triumph. He had won. Victory was finally his, he would have his revenge.

 

It was suddenly taken from him by a creature he had never seen. It was small like a dwarf, but lanky like an elf; it took his breath away. The creature's eyes were warm like the green in his tattoo that he had seen reflected on the dwarven treasure. Its hair soft like the finest cloth and fur that he had horded from the elves and men. What drew him off his warg hadn't been the dwarves' counter attack, it had been the small shimmer of gold and blue poking out from around the yellow cloth wrapped around the creature's neck.

 

When the creature waved its blade around in a mock threatening manner with its eyes alight with determination to protect the fallen prince, Azog felt something twist in him. He felt anger and bile rise up in his throat at the prince, a voice in the back of his head hissing at the dwarf for taking what was his, but that wasn't what twisted inside of him. He felt something, like a serpent uncurl from around his heart and with it a desire he had never felt. He felt the desire, no it was more like a need to hide the creature away from the others' prying eyes and hands, the need to see the creature's face twist into a smile. Another need, one much more powerful than the others, was to see the creature full with his seeds, to see its warm glow as it rested a hand on its enlarged stomach.

 

_MatebreedmineclaimmatematematemateMATE_

 

He gave a bellow as the sun cursed eagles stole way his prize and the creature. Anger and something else overran his senses as the creature gave a fearful cry, only his warg, Sprk and Volm kept him from jumping off the ledge after the eagles. The three holding him to the ground as he roared out threats and demands.

 

_Minematedangerprotectmatematematematemine_

 

Slowly the anger vanished and he felt empty and meaningless.

 

-o_o¯o-o_o¯o-o_o¯o-o_o¯o-o_o¯o-

 

It had taken weeks with little rest to refind the dwarves and his creature. His pack had finally tracked the group to the elvish woods, he had let out a pleased rumble when the woods didn't smell of elves and green, but more of decay and darkness. The wargs had caught scent of the group just as elves had intercepted them, the battle did little to distract him from his goal. He was; however, much calmer now that he had spilt some blood.

 

His body suddenly went stiff when he caught wind of a special scent, one that he had spent an hour sniffing at dirt in hunger over. The creature was close by, he bolted past the elves' defense, cutting down those who were before him. His blood roared at him in his ears, the need overpowering him.

 

_Hismateminehismatemineminematemine_

 

As he ran along the bank of a river and over trees he saw his creature. It was shaking, wet and miserable as it clung to a barrel; more elves chasing after the odd group of barrels. He some how kept the roar of rage inside his throat when an arrow hit the water close to his creature. The squeak that he creature let out past red lips, sent him spiraling near the water.

 

_Protectdangermateneedprotectmatemateindanger_

 

With blood pulsing in his ears he dropped down closer to the rushing water, his eyes wide as he watched the creature try to not fall off when the barrel crashed against some rocks. Wasting no time, he pumped his legs, he ignored the natural inbred fear of water, as he jumped to the rocks. Bending down he hooked his twisted hand into the barrel, scooping up his creature and all as he slammed into the other bank. Rolling on the ground the creature fell out of his hold and the barrel busted open under his ribs. He ignored the dwarf in favor of crawling after the creature.

 

The creature groaned as it rolled over onto its back, he hoovered over the small being. Taking in the blue jacket and the rolled up pants, he was pleased not to see any injury or smell blood. Something inside of him relaxed when he had caged the smaller being under him, seeing his arm frame the creature made the serpent purr around his heart. It felt good, nice at the least. His body slowly relaxed when the elves past overhead without pause. Before he could run his nose along the creature's throat and face he was shoved off of what was his.

 

He let out a roar when he turned on the dwarf, blond and smelling of apples. He was going to kill the brat, swatting the dwarf aside, he only paused to release a rumble at the creature. Continuing after the fallen dwarf, he stalked to the dwarf as it tried to rise to its feet, only to have his metal hand slam it back into the ground. The dwarf gargled as he began to crush its windpipe with ease, the dwarf clawed at him and he could feel the sash, that he had cleverly placed to hide his mark and hold his weapons, move slightly. There was a gasp before he was shoved away.

 

Stumbling he fell back a few steps, the creature standing between him and the dwarf. Its shoulders trembling like its hands as it slowly began to remove the yellow scarf. Azog swiftly moved forward when the gold and blue shimmered in the dimmed light, his flesh hand pushing aside the jacket and buttoned shirt to see more of the swirls. Licking his lips he took special note of how the vines of color seem to start at the creature's navel.

 

He blindly slashed forward when the creature was stolen from him by the dwarf with a shout of, “Bilbo!”. His clawed hand dug into the dwarf's arm where it touched what was his, his flesh hand wrapped around his Bilbo. The dwarf and him playing a vain game of strength, both of them stopped when the Bilbo cried out when the dwarf let out a broken cry as he dragged his claws into the dwarf's bones.

 

“Stop.” His Bilbo's voice rang out through the forest as the creature pulled out of both their grips. “Just, stop.”

 

“But, Bilbo! He'll kill you!”

 

“No, he won't, Fili.”

 

“How do you know that,” The dwarf asked holding a knife out threateningly at Azog, the orc just watched as the two talked back and forth. His patience slowly thinning.

 

Bringing his clawed hand down on the dwarf's head, slapping the blond away when it pressed a hand to his Bilbo's shoulder. The only thing keeping him from going after the downed dwarf was the hand pressed into his forearm. “Please, don't,” The creature gave a broken whisper as it trembled.

 

Azog simply looked down at the hand on his flesh, his eyes blank as he looked over the warm red flesh in comparison to his own. Normally he hated the thought of touching people or someone touching him, it made his skin crawl. Feeling the warmth from his Bilbo's hand brought a different feeling, he wanted those hands everywhere.

 

“Please, let him go,” The creature begged, Azog waited to feel annoyed at the creature's begging. He only felt the need to comply. “I will go with you without a fight, please, just let him go.”

 

Scooping up the creature Azog nodded, “You will act as his bail.”

 

The creature's eyes widened at his words in common tongue. He stalked off the way back to his pack's meeting place, his heart light as the skip in his step. The shrill call of, “Give us back our hobbit,” followed him. He ignored it, his focus on the curled hair under his chin, orcs rarely had hair and even then it was half-bloods who did. The copper, wet, curls were fascinating with how they shined in the dim light.

 

_Mateprotectminesafematemine_

 

“I will keep you safe,” He promised in orc tongue when his warg bounded towards them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will be posting more soon, a lot more between AIWIT and filling in the requests from my contest. Will try and have the next part posted tonight or tomorrow.  
> Also Azog will be a little bit more “primal” in comparison to everyone else with a soul mate -.- will be explained in a bit.


	21. 022. Sky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My dearest Rose requested a prison AU and at first I had a hard time trying to come up with anything for it and then my serial killer AU didn't want to work, so I just kinda gave up on it. I was then hit with a lot of inspiration for the Prison Wife AU, so here we are. A small oneshot that I probably won't continue... unless asked... I guess...

If asked you Azog how he would describe the sky, he would give you one word, Bilbo.

Azog tried to lean back casually in his prison cell, but the itch to just roll over and grasp the small volunteer’s plush hips was a hard one to fight. The warden in the room probably helped keep him in his bunk, Thorin wouldn't let him near the soft helper ever again if the dark haired Durin knew his thoughts about the volunteer. Biting his lip, he paid little attention to his lawyer's and the warden's argument, his eyes watching as soft hips swayed back and forth as his obsession swept the floor.

His eyes wandered over Bilbo Baggins, volunteer at the Erebor prison for one year. The man's short status had been something to tease when they first met; they had met when the man had been cleaning outside of his cell. Now it was something pleasurable, to know that when he got out his arm would rest perfectly around the slim shoulders. He knew the scent of the man's shampoo, he had pined the volunteer up against enough walls to know it by heart, and the feel of the soft honeyed curls. He had mapped out the man's face with his lips, he knew every little scar left behind by acne from the shorter man's youth. As well as the best place to leave a love bite, so everyone could see that the little man was taken, and it made Bilbo release the sweetest gasp. He had grasped the soft hips enough to know that his little Bilbo eat enough crumpets to keep such a lovely plump figure. Bilbo had stood between his legs enough times as he sat on his bunk, their kisses long and sweet as he held onto the man, he wishing for nothing more than to ravish the sweet country writer.

When the two of them had met, it had been the first thing that was different in his past decade at the prison. The shorter man challenging him with a down turn of poutty lips and sparkling green eyes. It had been like seeing the sun for the first time, bathing in the warmth it gave off with loving kindness. Bilbo and him had conversed softly, but many of the officers caught wind of their conversations. They tried to take the smaller man away from him, he nearly killed the elderly warden in retaliation. The next month in isolation had done little to help with his “rehabilitation”, he did kill a man with an ax. Soon they learned to use Bilbo as an incentive; the better he got, the more he could see his “friend”. Bilbo had started out as a distraction, soon grew to be the closest thing to a friend the albino had ever known growing up in a small town.

It had all changed when he saw a fellow inmate; Bard, a suffering drug addict, who was trying to stay clean; had forced the smaller man up against a wall. It had set him on edge, he moved swiftly to pull the fellow inmate of his friend, then he froze with anger. Bard had his hands on Bilbo's waist his lips trying to find Bilbo's as the smaller man tried to push the addict away. 

He had exploded.

Bilbo was his, he should be the only one to touch the shorter man in such away. The only one to make Bilbo blush such a pretty color. He saw red as he nearly killed the man, slamming Bard's head into the floor and wall so many times the man had gotten a severe concussion. He hadn't been allowed to see Bilbo for a week after that.

The next time he saw the smaller man he had pinned Bilbo to a wall, his breath coming out in waves as he kissed and marked everywhere he could reach. He finally pulled back after a bit, taking in Bilbo's flushed face, parted bruised lips, love bites running down to his collar bone. He had to bite back a groan, it looked so perfect.

“What was that about?” Bilbo had challenged him breathlessly. He didn't hide his grin at how Bilbo seemed to be affect as he was.

“Marking my territory.”

“You are such a dog.”

He had only laughed at that. Only Bilbo could call him such things and get away with it. He had vowed right then and there that when he got out he was going to woe Bilbo the correct way. Take the shorter man out to dinner, buy him gifts that would leave him smiling for weeks, and marry the beautiful writer. For if Bilbo was the sky, than Azog was the earth, together they were forever intertwined. 

His lawyer pulled him out of his memories with a challenge to the warden. The court had ruled that he could receive bail, his son had finally gained enough money to get him out. The warden was against such things, the Druin saying he was unfit for life outside of prison. He wasn't surprised, the Durins and the Orics had always hated each other, Thorin just wanted something to shove in his face. The man was also friends with Bilbo, so he just grinned and bared it.

Still no matter what Thorin wanted, the money had been paid he was free to go. Ignoring the two he just walked off towards on of the guards, Dwalin, and asked if he could be taken to get his stuff. The tattooed man grumbled, but complied. With in a hour he was free to go and waiting outside the gates for Bilbo. He watched as his breath misted about him in the cool fall air, distracting him with odd shapes.

When Bilbo finally arrived, he had scooped up the smaller man and twirling him around under the orange October sunset. The sky reflecting against the beautiful greens and gold of Bilbo's warm eyes, it took Azog breath away. Setting the shorter man on the solid ground, as Bilbo had demanded laughing, he bent down to kiss the shorter man.

For Bilbo was his sky, beautiful and warm like the sun. Thunderous like the most dangerous of storms when properly angered. Soft and sweet like falling snow, or ever changing like a partially cloudy day. He would try to be Bilbo's earth, solid and dependable.

“So I heard that for your psych exam you pretty much only described”

“I was really excited about being able to take you on a real date.” Azog grunted back.

“So much though that when the word sky came up you blatantly said my name?” Bilbo questioned with a raised eyebrow.

“Well, you are my sunshine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And its done. Didn't really know where this one was going, but it went somewhere.  
> Thank you for reading!


	22. 045. Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU: Soul Mates; Orcs don't have soul mates, so when Azog is born with an intricate mark tattooed on his back every orc thought it was a sign from their god. Azog had thought that himself until he saw his mark on a hobbit, and the elves' words didn't seem so mythical anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second half from 20. Bail still no M-preg yet.  
> Also wrote this after getting NO sleep, so sorry for any of my “AHAHA, what day is it?” moments.

When Bilbo Baggins had been born with gold in his soul mark, his mother had rejoiced. For gold was a representation of the strongest bond between soul mates, a bond that two lovers had been reborn multiple times to rejoin in life. Blue, it had been his favorite color when he was growing up. It had been the color of his soul mark, it had calmed him when the other hobbit children teased him, it had been accompanied with all his favorite foods. Mostly blueberry muffins and blueberry scones were at the top of that list. 

After fifty years when no one came for him, he just assumed that his soul mate had died without him. A painful death, the only thing consoling them was that they would see each other again in the next life. He had mourned as was proper when no one showed up for him after so long, for if his mate was an elf they would have been reunited by now. If his mate was a man, than his mate would have been dead by then. A dwarf he knew, would have swooped in to get him at birth, for dwarves were possessive over their mates.

Bilbo pulled the fur closer to his body, he almost wished his soul mate had really died. For having the pale orc as his soul mate was not a joyful thought. The orc hadn't just petrified and tormented dwarves; elves and men also whispered tales of the orc. Something that had sent a shiver of fear up Bilbo's spine at the time, each story more bloodied and terrifying than the last. Still Bilbo hummed, as Gandalf said each great tale deserves a bit of embellishment. How much, Bilbo wasn't sure, but the amount of effort Azog put into what the orc brought him was astounding. 

The orc showered Bilbo with the finest of everything, the cave that Azog had claimed as his own was huge, filled to the brim now with fine furs, mirrors, silks, and books. The orc had brought anything that Bilbo had shown even the smallest interest in abundance. If Bilbo so much as spent too much time on one thing, he would receive dozens of said thing. Not that he wasn't grateful for the books, but he would prefer them without hands still attached, thank you very much.

He was thankful for the blue journal Azog had found for him, for it helped Bilbo understand some of the strange behavior of the orc's. Orcs, and men, didn't have soul mates; they were born without song, mark, or string to bind them to their true mate. The journal went over what one who didn't know what having a soul mate would bring them, mostly it went over what an elf described as a primal man. For the elf had a soul mate that was neither elf, dwarf, or hobbit, it was a man. The man acted more like an alpha wolf trying to win its mate, bringing the elf gifts, snarling at any who came close, and feeling the need to provide for the elf.

When a creature that is normal without a soul mate has one, their whole function changes to the center of that being. That one person is what little they can physically possess after death. Orcs apparently reacted the same way, Bilbo mussed as he looked over the piles of piles of cooked meat before him. Azog learned early on that Bilbo was a hobbit, he hadn't let the orc coo at him for long. He had hissed and snarled at his soul mate, mostly the stress of what happened had finally caught up to him. The orc simply took each verbal blow in stride, never flinching away, but taking each word as a guide to win his affection.

Bilbo was no prisoner either, for he could come and go as he pleased. Wherever he traveled, a white warg and two orcs would follow. If he so much as made a hint he was cold, he was swaddled with blankets and furs. If he so much a even made a grumble about food, a feast was laid out for him. The strangest was Azog's form of affection. The orc would always hoover, but never touching, as if afraid Bilbo wasn't real, that it was all a dream.

For when Azog thought he was asleep, the orc would touch him. It wasn't the molesting touches one would expect, but more of the soft touches that came from a lover. Azog never went farther than petting and chaste kisses on his cheek, and for that he was grateful. For he had just came to terms with the fact how his mate wasn't dead, he was still working on the orc part of it. Azog never pushed him, never, if he wanted space the orc would leave, but not without making sure Bilbo had proper protection. Many orcs weren't pleased with there leader's choice in mates, as if either of them had a choice.

In a small laps of focus, Bilbo left his book to watch as Azog continued to cook their dinner. The orc watching him with blue eyes, no longer blood shot as they were when they first met. Thinking back to the meeting, he couldn't help but wonder how Azog felt about all of this. 

Biting his lip, he hesitated to ask the orc. Old habits died hard, but his view of orcs were slowly changing as he learned more about them. Females did actually existed, they were larger, but just as gangly as the males. The orcs had children and even took what could be considered lovers, but nothing like what Bilbo and Azog supposedly were. The next question was, what were they?

Sighing, Bilbo closed his book, knowing fully well he wouldn't have been able to focus on it til his curiosity was sated. He softly called out, “Azog?”

The orc grunted in acknowledgment, waiting for the hobbit to continue. Slowly Bilbo asked his real question, “How do you feel about this?” He nearly threw the book when Azog raised a hairless eyebrow in question, “You know fully what.”

Azog didn't answer right away, instead focused on turning the meat slowly of a fire. Soon Azog spoke in the grumbled voice that sent a shiver up his spine, one he didn't put much thought into. “I do not know, I feel things that I have never felt til we crossed. I was content with how things were, but since I saw you,” Azog nearly groaned out the next part, “With gold and blue makes I have felt something. Like a serpent curled around my heart, telling me what to do.”

Bilbo wasn't going to pretend to understand such strange things, but he did understand the serpent part. “You mean jealousy?”

“Is that what that is?”

“You have honestly never been jealous over anything?”

“I would never lie to you,” Azog was suddenly angry over such a thing.

Bilbo on instinct put up his hand in defense, Azog retreated swiftly to the other side of the room. Azog purposely kept away from Bilbo when the hobbit felt threatened by the orc, a silent promise to never harm him. As strange as it sounded, he trusted Azog to keep the promise. “I never said you would, I was just curious.”

Azog waited, watching Bilbo expectedly. The silent question being asked with no air or purpose, Bilbo answered quietly, drawing in on himself as he thought about it. “Yes, I have.”

He had been horrifically jealous when almost everyone in the Shire had found their soul mate, but him. Every one whispered about him, how he was alone and with such a strong bond, the elders would tisk at him. Even Lobelia, the snaky witch his old friend could be, had found her soul mate. He had been alone, craving the comfort of his other half.

He must have stay deeper in thought than he thought because when he looked up he was met with the worried blue eyes. In a small moment, Bilbo forgot everything but the fact his mate wasn't dead, but alive and breathing. With a broken sob he buried his face into the warm white plane of Azog's chest. The orc embracing him gently as he let his tears flow and all the stress of the years fell away in waves. The familiar comfort of his soul mate wrapped around him, his finger tracing over the pattern on the orc's back without thought. Azog rumbled from his chest, as he picked up the hobbit, both of them curling up in the nest of furs, skins, pillows, and blankets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst and this still isn't done yet. ._. I'm sorry, but this just won't end, so here we are forever at the beginning.  
> Thank you for your time.


	23. 043. Envy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU: Kindergarten; Azog has never played well with others, which has never been a problem until he met a little hobbit boy named Bilbo. Bilbo just moved from the Shire and just wants to make some friends and play with his little toy dragon Smaug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a small amount of time between my jobs, woot for last day, and decided to write a short chapter.

Azog gritted his teeth, this was stupid. Blue eyes glared into blue eyes, as Azog and Thorin stared each other down. Only Thranduil noticed the looks the dwarf and the orc were giving each other, Bilbo was too busy cooing over the book on his and Thorin's laps. 

It was a little reading exersize, Radigast picked the pairs that the class would be working in. Bilbo with Throin, Azog with Thranduil, and Dwalin with Bard. Every pair got a little book to read through. 

Azog wasn't happy with how close Thorin was sitting next to Bilbo. He certainly wasn't happy with how Thorin seemed to lean over Bilbo. The only thing keeping him from breaking Thorin's arm was Bilbo's love for books and the threat of being moved to a different class.

He tried not to break the spine of the book when Bilbo beamed up at Thorin, the hobbit's face bright with joy as chubby fingers pointed at the page. With a growl Azog turned away as the cover bent in his hands.

“You're really bad at this,” Thranduil sighed as he gestured to the bent and torn book.

Azog simply huffed, “I don't care, stupid knife ears.”

“No,” Thranduil sighed before he teased with a sing song voice, “You're upset that the prince will steal away your little friend.”

Folding his arms, Azog didn't deny nor did he confirm the elf's words. He simply gripped his sleeves tighter, he wasn't going to lose his only friend. He wasn't going to lose Bilbo to the scowling prince. Thorin didn't deserve Bilbo's smiles, not that he did, but he wasn't going to share his hobbit.

Luckily Radigast returned before there could be farther incident when Thorin held Bilbo's hand. With a clap of his hands he spoke with a cheery voice, “Now who would like to tell me what book you all read?”

Bilbo waved his hand first, his little chubby fingers fluttering through the air as he squirmed in his seat. After he received his “Yes Bilbo” he gave his narration to Thorin's and his book. “We read the story of Beauty and Pok-Face. It's a story of two sisters and how they married their true-loves.”

Radigast patted Bilbo's head, before handing Thorin and Bilbo a small treat. “Good job, anyone else?”

“We read the story of Weaver and the Spider. A basket weaver outwits a spider so she can live after she bragged about her skills.” Thranduil stated boredly as he waited for his treat. His eyes narrowed at the tootsie roll in his hands, Bilbo and Thorin got Milky ways.

Bard raised his hand, “We read the story of Sleeping beauty, where a princes is cursed to sleep forever til her true love wakes her with a kiss.”

“What kind of kiss?” Thranduil asked as he chewed through his sweet. 

“On the mouth.” Dwalin shrugged.

“Why?” Bilbo asked with a tilt of his head.

“Because only true loves kiss could wake her.” Bard stated blankly, it was obvious to him.

“But Gandy kisses my forehead all the times, does that mean he doesn't love me?” Bilbo patted at his forehead with frowned brows. 

“No, no, no, Bilbo,” Radigast waved his hands as he knelt near the little hobbit. “Gandalf loves you very much, but the kind of kisses Dwalin and Bard are talking about are very different than the kind of kisses Gandalf gives you.”

“How are they different?” Azog asked with a frown of his own.

Dwalin stood with the book in his hands, his face set in a determined line as he waddled over to Bilbo. He looked between the hobbit and the page multiple times while Radigast described the kisses that mommies and daddies gave each other.

“It goes like this, if the books right,” Dwalin grumbled before he leaned down to press a chaste kiss to the little hobbit's lips. He looked down at the book again before pressing a kiss to Bilbo's forehead, “That's the difference, I think.”

Radigast had a hard time explaining to the King of Erebor why his son had beaten up the head of the guards' son, as well as why an orc beat up the two young dwarves. He was even less pleased to explain to Gandalf why Bilbo wouldn't pull his face out of Smaug's tummy. Gandalf must have figured it out because Dwalin came to class the next day with a frog's head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> quick little something, to tide me over between shifts.  
> Thank you for reading.

**Author's Note:**

> Dwarf is going to be an OC because I can't picture any of the company being that big of an asshole. If anybody feels like it they can come up with names and stuff, I haven't really came up with anything yet.  
> I don't like orcs always being the bad guys, I have an Orc baby. His name is Ezilt.  
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
